I was the only person owning a car so when three of us decided to travel to X (50 miles away) to eat oysters, I became a designated driver. I didn’t mind doing it, but I expected they would do something for my driving. However…
– I paid for gas.
– I paid my share of oysters.
– At dinner, I paid for my share.
The only thing they did for me was several dollar tip. As I found out that I didn’t have 1 dollar bills to pay tips, the two bustled saying that since I did all the driving today, they would cover the tip.
I’d like to ask you what you would do in this situation.
A. I should have requested them to pay. “Hey, since I’ve been driving, you two should pay for gas.” “Since I’ve been driving all day, you two should buy me dinner.”
B. Pay without saying a word. Just take a mental note about them.
I’ve been B, but I think I should do A. Thoughts?
3 comments
There’s a couple odd things here. You all agreed to go to dinner but your companions made you pay for their meals? That’s peculiar unless you offered to pay as some treat or whatever. What did they do when the bill arrived? Just sit there quietly looking at you? If so, that’s kinda fucked. Because if they were my friends, the next time they ask to go for oysters, I’d call ’em out playfully. “Nope! Fool me once, shame of you! If you wanna go for oysters again, show me your cash upfront you moochers.”
You can ask for gas money upfront. “Hey guys, can you do me a favor? Can you cover some of the gas? We can just split it into thirds. I’ll cover one-third, and you guys cover the rest. Sound good?” The drawback I’ve encountered is when I give a friend $20 for gas and he drives us five miles. In high school, my friend would take my $20, put ten in his tank, and save the rest for a burger and fries. One time I got so fed up I told him, “No. That’s for gas. Not for food. So spend it on gas. You want food money, ask for food money.”
I would focus on attracting higher quality friends. Friends who offer to pay for you. Friends who offer to split gas. Level up your social status and get some supportive, connected, inspiring friends in your network.
I think if you expect gas money, you should mention it to them **before** driving (and how much you expect).