Women who have been shamed by a medical professional, how did you feel and what did you do?

15 comments

1. Yep!

   When I went for my termination, the doctor introduced himself and then said “so you’ve been a naughty girl and now you’re here” I reported him.

2. Shamed? What?

   I’d lose it.

3. Awful, so I found new doctors.

   I’m not putting my health in the care of some pompous dipshit who opts for condescending behavior instead of compassion and actually doing their job.

   Extra sucks for them too bc my insurance is fucking bomb and I’m chronically ill. I’m like a money pinata to the healthcare community.

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5. Years ago, I went to the ER a week after a procedure because continued heavy bleeding. I told them what had been done and they immediately shamed me and left me sitting in triage for hours. I slipped out of the gown put my clothes back on and walked out.

6. At my annual appointment last month with my gyno he looked at me and told me I was now “fat” and looked disgusted when he said I gained 10lbs. He then offered me some weight loss program full of weekly shots because that was the “only way I’d be thin”. I felt awful the whole time and cried when I left the office. Currently I’m looking for a new one because he’s just an asshole.

7. I was seeing a new gynecologist. She came in first time, was surprised I wasn’t naked and that I wanted to discuss different birth controls before the exam. I told her I couldn’t do depo because it made my emotions go all over the place. She told me depo did not have any hormones in it and it wasn’t the problem. I decided then I didn’t feel comfortable with her examining me. I ran into her as I was leaving and she told me I needed mental help. It was a female!!! An ignorant and rude female.

8. When I struggled with severe cystic acne that had been around for 5-6 years, I went to see a doctor, and was promptly told by this young woman with flawless skin that “if some acne bothers you so much, maybe you need a therapist?”. She then went on a five minute lecture on how appearance doesn’t matter and acne doesn’t affect your beauty or how other people view you, and then refused to prescribe me anything because “this is all in your head and I think you should talk this out with someone”. I left crying.

   Went in tears to another doctor who immediately made sure my hormone levels got looked up, and then put me on a treatment while prescribing me antibiotics and a topical cream to use meanwhile.

9. A psych ward nurse once told me that “people like me” can’t live normal lives and that I’d never graduate college or get married.

   Guess who’s a married college graduate 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

10. At my gyno, I might’ve been 18-20 years old. We talked about my sexual history and that I was concerned I might have an STD. She pulled out the big, scary metal thing and when she put it inside me, I cringed and winced.

    She said, “Oh, calm down. If you’re having sex, then you can handle this.”

    I felt hurt by her comment but since she was a professional she was probably right. Years later, I’m still upset by her comment.

11. i don’t know if “shamed” is the right word but i remember going to a walk-in clinic because i was feeling sick and the nurse kept asking me if there was any chance i might be pregnant. i said no probably 5 times before he dropped it and to be honest i still got the sense that he didn’t believe me

    i felt bad because of how rude and persistent he was, but i was too shy to do anything about it

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13. (TW: fatshaming)
    I have PCOS and my parents and I went to this gynac who called me ugly, said I should put in more effort into how I look (I was wearing a nice outfit btw but not good enough for this 60 y.o. woman apparently). Then she saw the stretch marks on my belly when she did my ultrasound and she said ‘you like living like this?’
    And while prescribing meds, she literally prescribed 2 pages worth of meds just for my hair and face and stuff. And only 2 meds for PCOS.
    I wasn’t even hurt. I was just laughing about how ridiculous she was being.
    But what hurt was that I was there w my parents and they actually thought she was right. To have your own parents think you’re ugly and need a lot of fixing is very hurtful, esp when you’re trying. They wanted me to continue seeing that gynac but I put my foot down and refused.

14. I told my doctors for over a year that I hadn’t been feeling well. Had gone through psychosis out of no where and was super skinny then gained 70lbs out of no where. Went to multiple doctors to get it addressed.. one male doctor hadn’t even looked at my chart and said well you could stand to lose some weight but other than that your healthy! I said.. but my thyroid levels are out of wack and my tpo antibodies are skyrocketing. He looks over at my chart and says “oh yea, I’ll get you a referral, but I’m also referring you to the dietician” like.. are you ffr right now? Still dealing with chronic pain and one nurse practitioner at rheumatology I went to said “well all your tests came back negative so I’m not sure what you want me to do”… meanwhile I’m still exhausted, in pain and dislocating multiple joints every week. A surprise to no one in my family came last week when my mother had to travel to a whole other state 4 hrs away to get care where she was diagnosed with hEDS. The doctors in my state don’t even believe it’s a real diagnosis and my mother told her rheumatologist this and the rheumatologist asked when we were moving bc our state healthcare is clearly effed up.

15. I have a chronic skin condition that’s not super common so I run into doctors who’ve never heard of it on occasion.

    There’s 2 versions

    – doctors who ask me about and want to learn

    – and doctors who think they know everything and don’t believe me despite being diagnosed by 3 different dermatologists, seeing 2 different surgeons, and having my case be discussed at conferences by my current dermatologist. I have that fucking condition.

    The absolute worst one was when I went to the ER because I had a fever for a week. This has happened before, and I need IV antibiotics. I explained to the intake nurse what my condition is and why I was there. But of course, when she took my temp, my fever had finally broken. She told me she wanted me to be checked out anyway because she could tell my fever had just broken and didn’t want me to have to come back later once the fever came back.

    My name was called and the doctor was immediately annoyed. He told me it was likely just a flu and I shouldn’t be there. I explained to him about my condition, and he had the gall to tell me I was wrong and it was just ingrown hairs.

    He took my blood and asked me to wait for the results. But I was so embarrassed and pissed off that I left. Luckily the fever didn’t come back and my regular dermatologist put me on oral antibiotics.

    I’ve also had a therapist tell me he requires his clients to do cardio exercise. I explained that sweating is a huge trigger for me and running would likely result in days of painful outbreaks. He didn’t believe me… I haven’t seen a therapist since. The kicker? I was seeing him because my regular dermatologist suggested I see someone after I had a complete breakdown in her office.