23F, only masturbate with clit since I’m a virgin.
I can’t really pinpoint what it is. Pleasuring myself it’s not good. I have been masturbating since I was little and for some time I thought maybe that was the reason (even though I just masturbated 3 times a month some only 1 or none) but thinking about back then….it was still the same feeling? I just did it when I was bored and it always lasted *literal* a few seconds.
I have gotten the “peeing feeling” which when I grew up and researched it appeared to be climax/squirt or whatever
…I thought, maybe I do really just need to relax like google says? But I just can’t, or…I don’t know…it doesn’t feel worth to keep going? Like after 5 seconds I’m just having the same feeling down there, nothing escalates, I have tried doing it for longer but I’m just annoyed and nothing changes even if I keep going. Like I’m feeling something but it doesn’t feel like pleasure? or it is pleasure…just not a very pleasant one if that makes sense.
I have thought maybe it’s because I’m doing it wrong, have tried different movements, different things…but it’s still the same. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even pleasure myself any longer, which does bother me because sometimes I do get horny? But I can’t bring myself to do anything about it because when I start it’s like it disappears or it makes me mad. Everyone always talks about how good of a experience it is… I’m scared that when it gets down to actual sex I’m not gonna feel anything. I have given a lot of importance to sex for obvious reasons and it’s something I’m really looking for but it’s also gotten to a point I don’t even have wet dreams because my mind has already decided I’m not going to like it/feel good.
It’s just such a weird feeling I’m not even sure if it’s boring, if I’m not feeling anything, if I’m not feeling anything enough for my body/brain, if it’s because masturbating it’s not enough anymore, if it’s because I’m doing it wrong, if it’s just me, if it’s something mental or what it’s going on….
Does anyone experience this, how did you fix it or what could be making this happen?
4 comments
Psa: stop messaging me saying to put something inside because I won’t. Good for you if your idea of virginity is something else but mine is any penetration=losing so just stop. And I’m to scared to do it anyways.
You could try buying a vibrator to stimulate the clit
Hello, 19F. I’ve been in the exact same situation since I started masturbating years ago, and as for my clit it’s always felt, I don’t know, just okay. Not that pleasurable or exciting. I have gotten to a point where I’ve slowly started to figure things out but it’s still like that most of the time. I see you don’t want to do penetration during masturbation and that is totally fine.
I understand 100% where you are coming from and it’s so frustrating. It’s like I have this need but I can’t feel pleasure or cum to manage it and it drives me insane, literally nothing works. It makes me honestly angry my body can’t do these things, and I have the exact same fear about having sex. It feels like nothing to me, like I feel myself touching those parts but there’s no good feelings attached..
Have you heard of anhedonia? It’s a condition where there is a lack of sexual pleasure. Sounds like what we may be experiencing.
I am so glad I found your post, I have been looking all over Reddit for someone experiencing something similar and felt quite isolated in this.
Think you’ll find more useful information over at [r/BecomingOrgasmic ](https://www.reddit.com/r/BecomingOrgasmic?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Google was right. You have to relax but not just your body. Your mind needs to be relaxed too. The more aroused you are the more pleasure you’re likely to experience. Without arousal you may as well be rubbing your toes.
Get aroused, take a hot relaxing bath or shower, put on some sensual music and get out of your thoughts and instead use your mind to FEEL every little sensation your body produces. You need to tune into your body and start feeling the pleasure.
I hope that helps or atleast gives you a direction where you can continue your journey into pleasure.