Would having no social media or online presence be concerning for some people?
A friend of mine has virtually no social media, just some webmail accounts, a one-off account on Moneysavingexpert, and an account that’s used Stackoverflow since 2013, but been inactive since July 2021, and that’s about it for online presence. She’s wondering if it’ll make employers worried about hiring her due to this.
OK, so Stackoverflow’s not typical social media like TikTok or Instagram, although it pre-dates both of them by 7-8 years IIRC.
Another friend…. the only social media presence he has is a 2002 list of GCSE students’ results, and that’s it for him. Other than that, nothing about him online.
What would you have thought about either of these situations, and do you think people are over-exaggerating the benefits of an online presence?
Incidentally, both friends are very active online, but not as participants, online banking/eBay’ing/Amazon not counted there, but info on them is limited.
When is this a good or bad thing?
21 comments
If my employer was overly concerned that they couldn’t spy on my private life, I wouldn’t want to work for them.
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I don’t look for candidates social media account. I don’t care. We have a pretty thorough vetting and social media is listed on the checks, I only ever see a tick or a cross. AFAIK the cross is only if there is something troubling about a social media account. Not having any would be a tick.
I don’t really have a major social media presence (although I do have Facebook so you can look me up and confirm I do, in fact, exist – just haven’t used it in like 10 years). No one seems to care.
Nope. I couldn’t really care how little social media presence you have, mine is very minimal
I liberated myself from social media in 2021, and I can truthfully say I’m better for it.
Having too much of an online presence can also be detrimental, I’ve known incidents where people have lost their jobs due to social media posts and it is widely known some employers do online searches for prospective employees and it has resulted in some people missing out on jobs.
Same goes with dating, one of the first things people who meet on dating apps will do is look up eachothers social media profiles, often times what’s on tinder will not match what’s on Facebook.
I have 0 SM presence. I only use Reddit. So it wouldn’t bother me at all.
It’s never a bad thing.
HR strips out any personally identifying information before I see any applications anyway but it would never occur to me to check someone’s FB even if that wasn’t the case.
I had to wipe myself off all social media to protect myself from stalking ex, getting dates are hard because people expect everyone to have a digital footprint so when you don’t people are very wary (quite rightly) in case the person is having an affair
Many employers would probably rather you didn’t have one rather than one you constantly spout shite on.
Unless they actively want to monitor you.
I also wouldn’t consider a private person as untrustworthy, I find people who overshare on social media boring.
I had an ex who assumed I could just get all the information I needed from her Facebook account instead of having conversations or making plans.
I’m a recruiting manager and have no social media accounts other than Reddit. And even that isn’t tied to my name.
I’d never, ever attempt to find a candidate’s personal social media account. I’d view that as an invasion of their privacy. And I’d give the same advice to any other managers out there too.
None of my social media accounts have anything resembling my real name. So no employer I have ever worked for would have considered it of any importance because if they searched my real name it would have come up blank.
I don’t think most employers give a shit about what you do on your own time.
As a romantic partner it would worry me, that you are married or living together and lying to me using a 2nd life.
There’s a growing amount of people especially around my age (mid 30s) that are deleting social media in their droves. I deleted Facebook about 3 years ago and Twitter in 2021, and I’ve never had instagram/tiktok etc. Never looked back.
I’d be horrified if an employer was assessing me on my online presence **under my own name**, everything I do is under pen names and avatars.
I would say the complete opposite.
I barely have time to read their applications let alone be arsed to find them on social media.
Most women I’ve dated thought my lack of social media was strange or suspicious. I just don’t have the same need to scroll Instagram or tiktok endlessly as most seem to. My Facebook is basically an online photo album for family only.
This is something I have come across from women a few times on a dating site, but if you’ll indulge me, I’ll give you my most extreme instance of an overreaction…
I was talking to a lady (let’s call her Lorna) on a dating site for a few days, we were getting along great and we decided to arrange our first date. After we had set our plans she asked me for my last name which I gave with no hesitation. About an hour later she messaged to cancel, which I was disappointed with, so I asked her why and she called me “just another lying scumbag cheater” and that she was going to find out who I really was and tell my partner all about my dating profile. This caught me totally off guard as I had been completely upfront about my relationship status. I tried to explain that I don’t have much in the way of SM, just a YT account (for which I provided a link for her to check out) and a few forums that relate to my hobbies/interests, other than that I’m a very private person.. but she was having none of it.. so I sent her an picture of my driving license and invited her to bring a friend and knock on my door any time she liked. She promptly blocked me.. Fair enough I suppose, I get the reasoning as to why she may think that, however misguided it was.
Fast forward 6 or 7 months and a good friend (let’s call him Andy) invited me out for a few beers to meet his new squeeze.
Now, I’m not much of a drinker and go to the pub a handful of times a year, but this seemed like a good enough reason to indulge in a bit of falling down juice..
I entered the pub and found Andy at the bar getting drinks and he’s really excited to introduce me to his new lady. We go to the table and wouldn’t you know it, “Lorna” is sat there, I smile and offer my hand with the usual pleasantries, not wanting to make it awkward in the hope she would do likewise.. How wrong I was!… Lorna just gives me the death stare. Andy clocks the shift in vibe and asks what the deal is. Lorna immediately jumps in with “This is the married guy I was telling you about, the one with the fake IDs.” Scowling at me the entire time. Andy’s confusion is clear and he say “Married? “Bahjer” hasn’t ever been married, I don’t think he’s even had a girlfriend for a few years.”
Realisation dawns and Lorna’s anger turns into embarrassment and she grabs her bag and runs out the pub, Andy is stood there with his mouth impersonating a goldfish not knowing what to do, so I tell him to get after her. Leaving me rather uncomfortably stood there with the dozen or so pair of eyes of the other dead silent patrons burning into my very soul…
He did manage to catch up with her and calm her down and they went elsewhere. Without anyone to drink with and feeling immensely paranoid and anxiety ridden, I also left.
A few weeks later Andy invited me round for a barbeque (which means he bought food and I prepped and cooked it! One the joys of being an ex chef, no one wants to cook for you!), He needed to “pop to the shop” as he had forgotten something or other. While he was gone Lorna asked to talk and preceded to apologise profusely for her behaviour and attitude in both our previous two interactions and she had been catfished by a married guy not long before we started chatting (though from her original reaction I think she gave him a little more than just her phone number, IYKWIM?!), I’m not one to hold a grudge and to be honest I think her and Andy make a great couple,, so of course, I accepted her apology. And now, we’ve become pretty firm friends, although Andy does tease her about it a little too much for my liking..
I think it’s a good reminder that while it may be a red flag, it’s worth remembering that not everybody cares for or indulges in SM. And for the ladies who do have concerns if a prospective suiter has a small to non existent online footprint, there are remedies available to alleviate concerns with good communication, and if a guy is into you, he won’t have a problem sharing scrutiny proof evidence..
As Reagan once said “Trust. But Verify.”
Depends on the employer.
I am not on social media for this reason.
I think its fucking creepy.
At my current role they blatantly told me they searched me on social media and couldn’t find me…In my head I was thinking, ”I was hired on merit, not so you can see my last trip to Margate with my Auntie Carole in 2019” or whatever other bollocks people overshare on there.