We’ve been struggling for some times around ou sex drive difference, we’re both mid twenties and we’re together for two years. Since our honeymoon phase ended we experience a difference in our sex drive. I’m more of a 1-2 times a day and she’s more around 3 times a week. We tried compromising to some extent but we still have some troubles. I don’t mind masturbating on my own or with her to bridge the gap but that makes her sad, like she’s not enough or that somehow I’ll end up not wanting her anymore and just masturbate. The fact that I know it’s making her sad makes me uncomfortable to do it.
I know she doesn’t fake the sad part to manipulate me, she told me I can masturbate and it’s not an issue but I see that it’s not completely true and she’s still feeling the same. I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t want to lose her, anyone had some similar situation? How did you deal with it?
3 comments
I had a similar ish situation, what I ended up usually doing was using her for masturbation. So instead of jerking off to porn or even just my imagination it was still my gf that I used to get off and she seemed to feel less insecure when I did that. I think my situation was a little different but it may be something to ask her about.
Just talk to her.
Make it clear that you prefer sex with her and being intimate with her. Explain you masturbating is only to get the edge off, to satisfy a need. Like scratching an itch.
Ask if it would make her feel better if you only did it with nudes of her, or a spicy convo you had in the past.
What I would recommend is to maybe hold off on masterbating as in my opinion if I don’t see my so the sex is 10x better when I don’t masterbate. Second, maybe advise her to get her libido and vitamin levels checked out. I had a low drive and then realizing my vitamins are low and I don’t eat healthy enough I was able to bring it up.. I can easily go 1-2 and ln I went 3 times