A brief relationship that became so connected ended but not because of anything that either of us did but circumstances we couldn’t control. I can’t seem to stop thinking of this maybe it would have been easier if one of us did something wrong. I’m just terribly sad.
Tomorrow is my birthday and all I can think about is hearing from this person. This is all so new for me as every other relationship I have had has ended because of the other person or how my feelings had changed but this one is none of those things.
Maybe once I get past tomorrow things can start getting easier. 😔
3 comments
It will. Peace to you.
I’m sorry that you’re sad, but try and remember that things ended for a reason. You are likely pining for your IDEA of who you wanted the person to be, because it’s hard to really know someone after a brief time.
I’m struggling with something similar where I have a FWB who is an AMAZING friend and like the best sex I’ve ever had, but we’re just not relationship compatible for reasons that don’t matter. It’s HARD. And I get that – but I think that part of what makes it hard is that I don’t have the kind of connection that I’m looking for and sometimes that nudges me towards looking at it with really rose-colored glasses.
I just remind myself very explicitly why it’s not right for me – I KNOW the incompatibilities we have would make it a disaster in the long run, but it’s hard to not romanticize it because it’s the closest I’ve had to what I actually want. And I find my brain wants to believe that compatibility on SOME issues means compatibility on ALL.
But I think that waiting for someone who DOESN’T have those deal-breaker incompatibilities with me is worth it. And I can keep looking till it’s right. I think you can too.
I literally wrote down the reasons why we choose to not pursue anything further and I read it when I start feeling like I’m losing perspective. I tell myself why it’s not ok to accept that for myself – it’s not what I want for my life, ultimately – even if he’s fucking great in so many other ways.
Keep your chin up and remember that you never know what’s around the corner. Spend your birthday celebrating the fact that you are doing something hard and choosing to NOT settle for something that’s not right. And that’s painful in the short term, but will pay off in the long term.
Happy birthday!
Take it as a sign that you’re meant to learn something from this period of sadness. And without that person, at that. At least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself in my own situation.