We have been dating for a little over 4 years off and on but I finally reached my breaking point. He got diagnosed with narcissistic personality and I tried so hard to get past it but it really took a toll on me. From the control that he had over me and the way he would treat me I just couldn’t bare live a life with a man like that. I feel guilty but there are so many instances where he would often say “you’ll never find someone better than me” or “I am the best thing you’ll ever have and you’ll regret ever loosing me” that pushed me to the edge constantly.
Recently we went over to his family get together for the holidays and I have always asked to be introduced to his siblings but he’s never allowed that. I quickly found out the reason being is because he only talks to 1/8 siblings. Apparently every other sibling has done him dirty and he refuses to talk to them because of it and has spent the last 10 years only talking to them. I always found it concerning that he would say his siblings were the problem when in fact it was him because the other siblings get along with each other just fine. I couldn’t imagine us having kids and have to pick and choose which uncle/aunt we do get along with and which ones we don’t it sounded exhausting.
I just feel devastated and a bit guilty. Am I selfish for not putting his disorder aside? I tried for the past 3 years but I couldn’t imagine going into a new year putting up with lies, manipulation and egotistical behavior.
TL;DR I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because he refuses to talk with his family and is narcissistic
5 comments
You’re not selfish. It’s a red flag to begin with that a 29 year thought it was appropriate to go out with an 18 year old. It’s clear he resorted to dating teenagers because men his own age would not have put up with his bs, especially not for four years. He was controlling and manipulative, you’ve recognised that so breaking up with him was the right thing to do.
My only advice is to cut all contact, do not let him back into your life whatever you do.
I think you dodged a huge bullet there.
The relationship was inappropriate and predatory from the start, and you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. Please try to forget this man asap and move on with your life! He’s absolute trash and you owe him NOTHING.
Your 29 year old ex preyed upon your naive 18 year old self. That’s disgusting.
Even if that wasn’t the case, you’re not obligated to take care of men. Learn that lesson now.
You do not have to force yourself to suffer to accommodate another person. If you are not happy in a relationship, you have every right to leave it no matter what is going on with the other person. It sounds like you gave it your best shot and now you get to do that with someone else