I have this nagging feeling that sex isnt good enough for him (M27) and I (F27) keep asking what he wants to try or how I could improve, but he just says things like “i like what we do,” “i cant think of anything to try,” and “i dont know.”
The thing is, he recently randomly bought a toy for himself and is very private and embarrassed about it, even though i dont judge and im curious about it, he doesn’t want me involved. And the last time we had sex (we are long distance, so every other month) he tried a new position out of no where. It was hot and spontaneous, i want to do it again, but i had been asking him what he wanted to try and he told me he couldnt think of anything for ages before that.
Im trying to communicate, im being patient, but I feel the need to improve and its like hes trying to be polite or something when in reality its counterproductive. Im already sexually frustrated and insecure bc he has a lower libido than me and i know im not his ideal body type (he likes big tits and hentai, im flat chested with a bit of a butt) so i dont know how to make myself more appealing or better in bed.
I read up on how to give bjs, but he is quiet the whole time so i think hes bored. He’s quiet during sex, cums quickly sometimes (no problem for me, its a turn on), but i know that just bc a guy cums doesn’t mean the sex was great for him. I dont get much verbal confirmation if it was good or what he liked.
I want to blow his mind, i want to make him feel amazing and excited, i want to make up for my flat chest and lackluster appearance by bettering my skills and improving sex, but hes not giving me things to work with. Ive worn thongs and completely shaved/waxed for him with little to no reaction or difference, I’ve asked what his kinks are only for him to say hes “doesnt really have any” and then he changes the subject.
How can I improve if he doesn’t tell me his preferences? I know men aren’t a hive mind who all like the same things in bed, but how can I improve? How can I get him to be honest and open with me?
2 comments
Try re-reading your post and take out every sentence this about you and your thoughts on the situation.
Just read the ones where you factually present information.
You might get a different perspective of the situation.
You are concerned and worried but he does not seem to express or share those concerns.
So what is the reason for your concern and worry? It might be your feeling insecure and nothing else.
It just seems like he’s super shy/prudish/reserved or whatever. You have no reason to think that he’s not enjoying himself and should stop worrying about it.
However, if it’s you that’s unhappy and wants different things; that’s an entirely different question and answer.