What are some things your mom used to say to you and now your wife does?

29 comments

1. *Stop wanking at the pets, Steven!*

2. Wrong hole

3. “Your father’s dick is way bigger.”

4. I don’t want you sitting around all day.

5. It’s a pity your father and your brother died in a Duke of Hazzard reenactment.

   He was such a good man.

6. Wallet? Keys? Phone?

7. Pick up your socks!!!

8. “What the hell did you eat? Your farts are extra ripe today!”

9. Nothing, because she knows how much I hated my mother.

10. Get out of my house U piece of shit

11. “Why did you get that stray dog in here?!”

12. Are you going to sleep the day away?

13. Get off the xbox and eat your dinner while it’s hot.

14. “I am just an unpaid maid in this house”

    “ Why do I have to do everything around here?”

15. Haha my mom used to day she was a slave in this household. My dad helps out now

16. Hey honey, wake up

17. “quit sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner”

    women, amirite fellas!?!?!?

18. [deleted]

19. Stop that!

20. To both of them, yes I am aware of the weather. No I’m not wearing a jacket. I’m a big boy and I can make my own decisions.

21. Listen to me when I’m talking to you.

22. Take out the trash. Come with me to grocery store.

23. I love you.

24. “Get off of me! You’re crushing my cigarette”

25. Hello

26. “You haven’t eaten all day.” No, I am mortally hungover.

27. Calling me by my full name when I’m in trouble.

28. Are you listening to me?

29. “let me suck you off”