I had a baby with mi husband (
four months ago.
We’ve had issues and bad fights before, but I feel like everything has gotten worse after having a baby. The baby was completely accidental, neither of us were ready but we both love him more than anything. My husband has very severe back issues, and during the pregnancy and the first month postpartum wasn’t able to help much and almost everything in the house and with the baby fell on me. One month into our babies life my husband got major back surgery. Since then I’ve been the only only one who gets up at night, and the primary caregiver. He recently has had to take care of our baby two days a week so I can work, my mom was watching the baby while I work and he recovers up till recently.
So anyways here’s where I’m at. I have been back at work since three weeks after my sun was born. My husband hasn’t had to be responsible for the baby at all till recently. (Yes he did call it baby sitting as a joke once and got mad that I was upset about that)
I haven’t slept in four months, while working and taking care of everything at home. I’m developing post partum depression and not feeling supported at home.
My husband has been getting full nights of sleep since three weeks pp, and is coming off a severe back surgery but not having any responsibilities.
We had a really bad fight a month ago after which I stopped producing milk completely from stress. And we keep having bad fights. He feels I do not live him or give him attention anymore. We had a fight yesterday after he didn’t like my tone when I said okay while I was barely holding it together and he was unloading his issues. I had a three hour panic attack during the fight where I went nonverbal and cried on the bathroom floor. During this he ignored me and played on his phone. After I could talk I tried to tell him about what I was going through, and he got mad I didn’t tell him sooner, other shit happened yadda yadda.
Today I was going b Facebook and tried to send a message to a chat we are both in. I got a message saying I couldn’t send because one recipient was blocked. It was my husband. I didn’t think a lot of it because I thought my Facebook had malfunctioned again, it has unfriended my husband before (or so I thought)
I sent my husband a message asking if he unfriended me, I didn’t mention the blocked part. He said he hasn’t unfriended me. Which I thought was weird but didn’t press the issue.
Tonight we got in another fight where he said something about me blocking him on Facebook. I paused, because how did he know that?
I asked him and he admitted after I pushed it a few times that he had blocked himself on my phone while I was having that three hour panic attack. He said he wanted to see how much I cared and how long it would take me to notice. And he got mad it had been almost 24 hours and used it to say I don’t care about him.
I’m really upset about this. I feels sick to my stomach. I feel like my privacy has been ran through. He also said he tried to block himself on my insta but couldn’t figure it out. I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m wondering how many times he has ran this test. Was Facebook malfunctioning or was he getting on my phone and don’t things to test me?
I have nothing to hide. I don’t even care if he goes through my phone. But how many times has he messed with something? Deleted something? I feel like he could show his friends or therapist how many times I’ve had to refriend him and make it look like I’m being crazy and unfriending him after arguments…
I know we are both just human. But I feel like I’m going crazy and I can’t figure out if I’m over reacting.
I changed the passcode to my phone and won’t be telling him the new one. If he wants to go through my phone I don’t care but I’ll be watching. I feel so sick about all of it . So, am I the asshole? I really want to know.