Pain and suffering have been my greatest teachers. 2022 was a year of lessons for me. While I have made drastic improvements, the journey there as been full of immense pain through trial and error.
I’ve had to take a good hard look at who I am in order to better connect with people. For example, numerous times have I invited people out, only to never see them again afterwards. Then I end up wondering and questioning myself as to why that seems to be happening.
It’s rare for someone to directly tell you what they find off-putting, so then I resort to guesswork.When someone does tell you, it’s done very harshly, and that has put me in a very, very dark place twice this year. It’s incredibly discouraging, but eventually I bounce back..somehow.
Put myself out there again, get the same results, take a look inwards, repeat. It feels just like a cycle, over and over again. It’s even gotten to the point where I can no longer enjoy the process. Now it often feels like I have to put on a facade, like flicking the on button, or muscle memory, in order to connect with others.
I’ve developed much more charisma and have much more of an ability to connect with others now.
And I’ve learned so much but holy hell, does it beat you down. The process of connecting with others doesn’t feel enjoyable anymore because I’ve been backstabbed by people who I connected with well initially and I’m wary of it now.
It’s taken a lot of soul-searching to not give up and resort to bitterness.
Thoughts? Can you guys relate?