Ok so here’s the background. She ghosted me, then after 3 months, she reached out to me then she wanted to explain what happened in person. I agreed to meet up with her. So on that day when we had that talk, I will keep it short. She apologized and asked for my forgiveness when she disappeared (ghosted me) for 3 months, then we talk about what happened, she told me she is honest, open, and transparent on that day (take note of this, will bring this up again later) she rejected me, she said that “she is not yet ready for a relationship” and offered me that if we can still be friends again. I was not the only one who offered that day if we can still be friends again, she also did. And yes, we agreed to be friends again. That’s all that happened that day
It all looks well on the paper, on what happened that day. But her actions speaks differently, the talk we had was on the 1st week of November then when we also agreed to stay in touch on that day in chat, I am the only one who exerts effort on starting over on us being friends again. Whenever I initiate conversation with her, she is slow at responding back, never even initiates conversation and just give me a bare minimum effort overall. Its like she is just replying back just to be polite and not be rude towards me. She does not show interest on us being friends again
If I am being honest, she should be the one who needs to exert the effort more on rebuilding this friendship, since she was the one who ghosted me, who wronged me, even wants to meet up in person just to clear things, but she does not follow through on her actions. Its like she took advantage when I gave her a benefit of the doubt and a chance to explain herself, she was not grateful about it. Its all about her restoring her reputation and her integrity, she did not even care on my feelings for this
In short, her actions speaks she does not us to be friends, more of like acquaintances only. I mean if I am being honest, she could have told me that day when we had that talk na we cannot be friends anymore because I do not want to be friends with someone who has feelings for me, and that’s valid. Or she could have told me that we are just acquaintances from now on or we can just be civil from now on. Instead, she even lied to me that we still can be friends again. She even told me she is honest on that day, when clearly she is not based from her actions recently
I reached into my boiling point, when I reached out to her yesterday about the tv series we both watch in common (season 3 has been released and I message her that season is already out), then she replied and told me that she already watched some few episodes of season 3. Because before, she really knows that I am looking forward for the season 3 release of that tv series, and she knows it. I mean, she did not even treat me as a friend because she would have updated me that season 3 has been released and she is already watching some of the episodes there. Her actions really speak clearly on here on how she views our relationship and the way she treats me. Never even initates conversation with me.
If you guys want more details of the story so that you can give me an accurate opinion and advice, you can message me in chat and we can continue there. I did not even open her last message yesterday that she already watched some of the few episodes there, I left it unread and the message still mark as delivered. I don’t want to reply back because it really hurts right now and I am so frustrated at her on the way she treated me, disrespected me and she only thinks about herself and what could she have gain from this before. I really want to confront her for this but idk what to do
Any opinions or advice for this one?
5 comments
You’re hyperfocusing on this because you’re either still attracted to her, struggle emotionally with people not saying what they mean, or both.
At the end of the day you’ve picked up on the fact that she doesn’t actually want a full fledged friendship and have to accept that.
Not everyone will follow through on their intentions or mean what they say. She might have been letting you down easy or she might have realized she doesnt have the energy to maintain a full friendship.
Either way, all you can do is take the hint and move on. Don’t waste time and energy on people that don’t serve you.
Soooo…you are upset that the Girl who ghosted you for 3 months, and then who reached out to you afterwards, but, only wanted to “be friends” isn’t contacting you enough? I mean, did you not see this coming??
It sounds to me that you still really like this person despite their having rejected you. And, I’m guessing, your hope is that if you spend enough time with each other, maybe she will develop the feelings for you that you have for her.
If I am being honest – move on from her and cut her out of your life.
when people say “we can be friends”, they dont actually mean it bro. she knows you are in love and that she is your only option. you have no value to her.
So what do you want from her? You tried to date her, she turned you down. Even if she was making an effort at being friends, do you even want to be friends, or do you just want to keep her around in case some day she realizes she actually is in love with you? I don’t understand why you even care. Move on.
Hello, OP! Your friend did the right thing. She told you that she wants to be friends so that you can be civil to each other and respect each other’s boundaries. If she does not want to make more of an effort, let her be. She does not have to reply to you daily.
I believe that you expect her to be a closer friend to you but that’s not meant to be. You seem that you still want a closer relationship with her and have higher expectations of her friendship. Friendship can range from people who just met to acquaintances to friends who work together, close friends, and best friends.
It’s awkward to say, “Let’s be acquaintances.” I feel that you might still get mad at her. For that matter, I believe that whatever she says or does that you do not like, maybe you will get mad or bothered. I think she did what she said and met with you for her own safety and survival. You were mad and bothered when she ghosted you.
Please move on, OP. You scared me when I read your post and comments. Please respect her boundaries. Please do not talk or chat or message her unless it’s a real emergency. For example, your house is on fire or you had Covid. For your sake, kindly let her be free, and let yourself be free. All the best, OP!