I (36f) have been single for nearly 13 years (after an abusive and toxic relationship) so maybe I’m handling this wrong, but this is the 3rd time this guy (38m) told me he’s going to turn me down because I’ve turned him down and I should know what it feels like. When I turn him down it’s with a reason.
This time I said if he does it again I’m likely just done and he said “well at least you’ll know its your fault then”.
We’ve been talking since August 2021, have met up maybe a dozen times. I still don’t know where he lives, he’s been to my house.
This is wrong, right?
Tl;dr just verifying if I’m handling the “you did it first” mentality wrong.
5 comments
Turning you down for what? A date? Sex?
Your only mistake was listening to him after the first time.
This is a grown ass man playing games to manipulate you. “You did it first” is way immature. Move on.
Sounds like you have a pretty superficial and petty relationship with him. You should move on. Your energies are better spent finding someone new.
This type of behaviour is petty. The mentality of “if I don’t get what I want, then no one can” is immature to say the least. We all lead our own lives and can’t be available to others all of the time, turning down an offer to spend time with someone shouldn’t elicit vindictiveness. The person should accept your response and could even guide the conversation towards finding time you’re both available, but to insist you should feel bad for not being available isn’t healthy.
This guy is a jerk. He’s probably a step up from the last guy but that’s a bar so low its buried in the ground. He’s no where near the level of being a decent partner.
Dump him and keep looking.