I think I’m an average white female. I have two kids. The dad isn’t involved at all. They are younger kids. I’m starting to think I’m never going to find someone to spend my time with. Is my young kids too much. I don’t know why I can’t maintain a relationship. But I’m incredibly lonely and over it.
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Do you have any recent examples?
>The dad isn’t involved at all.
Sole custody of two young children. That’s a whole lot of responsibility that many men would shy away from.
Date for long term, not for passion. You may have to accept never experiencing those whirlwinds of emotion, and possibly suffer through temptations for it, but focus on finding a reliable man who understands you’re building a life together and stick to him like glue.
There’s too much romanticism surrounding passionate love, but intimate, companionative love is what you need for a lasting relationship, and that’s just trust, respect, and shared experiences.
Kids are a dealbreaker to most people because if it doesn’t work they get heartbroken 3x over. Not much of an upside really, unless maybe the man can’t have kids and wants them.
Communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is key to any healthy relationship. Make sure to be open and honest with your partner about your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Both parties involved have to be willing to do the work honestly or it’ll never work
Also I get told fairly frequently by guys things a long the lines of:
I’m too logical that it’s illogical
I don’t make them feel needed enough
My mom was divorced with 3 girls ages 5 to 8. My dad and her were together about 6 years before they married and had me and my brother. A good man will accept the kids. It’s an American dynamic. American men accept other peoples kids… Other men won’t. It’s one of the reasons Russian brides became so popular in the 90s. The Russian men would accept kids but Americans did. Problem comes when the guy rejects his own kids but accepts the new ones. They call it “serial dad”