tl;dr: my bf lied to me today but managed to turn it around on me, and now im questioning the realtionship
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Today, I had made plans for our friends and my boyfriend to the arcade center. My friends came, but my boyfriend said that his mother was forcing him to run errands and clean the house to “earn his keep”, so he wasn’t going to be able to come, no matter how “badly” he wanted to hang out with today.
Interestingly, a snapchat story pops up of one of friends with a group of guys at some house (Im guessing one of there’s), and guess who’s in the video? None other than my bf. If he wanted to hang out with his friends today he should have just said that. Yeah, I may have been a bit sad but I would’ve been able to understand but now that he just lied to me, I’m pissed.
Ig his friend saw that I saw the snap (because on snap it shows who views your story) and told my boyfriend because he called him. When I picked up I ofc blew up on him for lying to me. He said that he was sorry and that he would come to the place but I told him dont bother because I was going to be really mad if I saw his face in that moment.
Well, he came anyway and started trying to hug and kiss me and say how sorry he was for lying and that he was going to make it up to me but I wasn’t having any of it, and he knew that. I honestly just wanted to be left alone. After he realized this, he started trying to make a big deal out of me inviting one of my guy friends (\*who he knows that we are just friends\*) and saying stuff like “So when Im not around you just replace me with another guy?” This is such BS and he knows it too; it honestly sounds like he’s trying to even the playing field.
I rlly dont want to break up with him over this, but honestly im so hurt that he acted like this today. He has lied to me only a couple of times before in the past but they werent bad. its not even the fact that he was with his friends (doing who knows what) its just that he \*lied\*
8 comments
Manipulation like that is a huge red flag. Sounds like a lot of gaslighting too. I’d really consider if this is a person you want to be in a partnership with. My guess is this isnt the first time he’s done this to you
He’s showing you the real him.
Break up with the guy. This is reason enough.
A lie is a lie. But also you need to have an open dialogue.
He lied. He didn’t respect your request for space. He tried to make you the bad guy in the situation. This isn’t even the first time he’s lied that you know about. I think it’s time to raise your standards.
Break up with him. He only came because he got caught.
Leave him. The second he realized you weren’t putting up with him lying he brought up something irrelevant. He’s trying to make you think you’re the problem when in reality he is. He’s showing you the kind of guy he is, believe him the first time. Trust that even after you forgive him after this, he’ll do it again because he knows you’ll (probably) forgive him again. It’ll be a never ending cycle until you question your own reality and ask yourself all the time if you’re the problem. Leave now that it’s early enough. No one that respects you truly would lie to you.
Edit: Just saw your last sentence that he’s lied to you before but they weren’t bad enough…. They will only get worse with time. Maybe I’m just speaking out of experience but people will push your buttons/test your boundaries and see how much of a free pass card you’ll give them, to see what they can get away with. Remember your feelings are always valid.
He’s a lying narcissist who’s is gas lightning you
Dont fall for it
Dont feel bad
Dump the guy and move on
It’ll only get worse from here……You’ve been warned