I’m 31(F) and I’ve been single for more than 10 years. What am I doing wrong?? And why do I still want it after so long? I love my own company but I still can’t shake the thought that something is missing.
I’ve tried all the apps several times, I also try putting myself out there as much as I can in person, but I haven’t had a fling last longer than 3 months in that time.
I live in a small town (160k) in a small country where dating culture isn’t strong and my values don’t align with the majority.
I have gained weight over the pandemic, I’m not unattractive, but I’m definitely not as beautiful as I used to be.
I fixate on people that aren’t interested.
The number of single guys to girls in my town is pretty low, and I don’t have the confidence to think any of them would even pick me.
I know I’m not perfect, but I do a lot of work on myself. I just need help figuring out where I’m going wrong?
Is there hope for me? How do I turn the desire off?
4 comments
I have Asperger’s so i have been alone longer i am sorry but i cannot answer your question for i myself have no answer to it. I hope you find someone one day, someone that will show you love and devotion. It is very difficult for humans to turn off the desire of companionship, one can only do that if they have been alone for so long or they have had a very negative psychological experience. I reiterate, i hope you find what you are searching for.
Im 38/M and have been single my entire life, all my way thru adulthood. It bummed me out, but at some point you have to take the time to invest in yourself and your own future, letting go of all the negatives thoughts you have on yourself or your situation. IMO every person is beautiful in their own way, regardless of gender, identity or physical aspects. Trust me, most men don’t ONLY look on the outside.
I also found that dating is a hellofalot different nowadays then when it was when I was a teen/early adult with all the online stuff going on. If you want a date, try tinder, hinge, or whatever. Join sportclubs if that’s your thing, go out to a club. Meet ppl, its all about meeting people and not be in your own little circle all the time.
I went out (as a 38 y/o!) last weekend during New Years and met so many new people, it really boosts your confidence. Yes, it can be scary, but go do it you won’t regret it.
Lower your standards.
You need to think about what men want. Just because you are a woman does not mean you are going to be approached and desired. What do men want? Do you even know?