TW- self harm
i (20M) and my girlfriend (20F) were cuddling last night and i saw some scars on her thigh. she was wearing spandex shorts and i guess they rolled up and i saw them. they looked like scratches but there were multiple scars and they looked fresh. i didn’t say anything but i want to make sure she’s okay. she told me she self harmed as a teenager but she’s been clean for over 3 years. she’s been really stressed lately because of college and she’s been struggling with her mental health for a while. we have been together for over a year and she does trust me with these topics. i don’t know how to bring it up with her though. i want her to feel comfortable with me and not feel like she’s being questioned. she gets extremely embarrassed when she talks about her health and often shuts down when discussing it. should i even ask her or wait until she mentions it?
any advice is appreciated.
TD;LR: my girlfriend relapsed with self harm and i don’t know how to bring it up with her.
3 comments
Yes you need to tell her to seek professional help with psych support this is why although it may seem inconsequential with just scars, it is generally a greater underlying issue and it only takes one time to change to a serious medical event. Good luck.
Keep lovingly addressing her about it. Make eye contact. You might want to rephrase the cutting, “relapsing” and “clean” sound inappropriate, though. Cutting is a symptom of something more serious. I don’t think she’ll bleed to death, but I do suspect a serious mental health diagnosis coming her way.
Don’t. It’s on her to get help and she knows that. She has issues with control, this will make her feel like she doesn’t have control if you bring it up.