It happens for literally anything. E. g. When I look for opinions about my plans, projects and important decisions he just doesn’t care and goes “you’re smart you’ll choose wisely I am sure”. But when he asks about his life and gets the same answer from me (because I don’t have enough details or background to help him) he says I let him down and acts cold. Why is that? What am I doing wrong?
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Red 🚩visible from the moon here…
And if you dont like this (extremely exhausting sounding behavior) from your bf, you dont have to imitate it and you dont have to accept it.
He sounds like he couldnt care less about you or your life, if he DID care he would share thoughts, feelings, opinions.
I hope things work out how you want them to.
Your boyfriend sounds intellectually lazy on two counts:
1. When you look for his thoughts on plans and decisions, he can’t be bothered to take a moment and actually *think* about the situation and come up with a couple of viable ideas. Is he afraid of being wrong, or somehow not appearing intelligent?
2. Going the other way (him asking YOU for thoughts and ideas), he gets mad because you didn’t do his thinking for him.
He needs to learn to think for himself, and, occasionally, for (and with) other people.