My girlfriend (18F) and I (20M) have had the persistent issue of lack of time for each other in our relationship, and I am starting to grow tired and want to break up with her

My girlfriend and I have been together for a bit over three years now. She has been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my life thus far and her character has considerably inspired me to grow as a person. I have always looked forward to growing with her as a person and in our respective careers and lives, but it just seems that numerous circumstances and factors out of our control keeps getting in the way of our relationship. I know that relationships aren’t always smooth sailing and I believe that we are greatly capable of resolving numerous conflicts in the past which included our prior learned toxic behaviors from our respective exes and families, but we continue to fail to resolve the persistent issue of lack of time for each other.

To define lack of time, the current setup of our relationship is that we only get to greet each other good morning and good night with minimal updates in between. We both landed accelerated medicine courses but in different universities, so we are more or less LDR and our mode of communication is mainly online. Calls have been very minimal ever since we started college (we’re both freshmen) so we are mainly consumed by our studies due to all of these; however, I feel alone in the sense of making time for each other (if there’s a will, there’s a way) albeit all the things we need to accomplish.

In other words, I guess the real problem for me is that I feel like she is not as willing as me to allocate time for each other, which is honestly quite sensible. Couples do not have to talk 24/7 and that is not what I have been asking for, but recent events just made me feel that even the bare minimum of communication and interaction is being fulfilled in out relationship. In the week of our anniversary, there was a time that she was so consumed in her requirements that we had zero contact for two days without any heads up from her. It was undoubtedly one of my lowest points in our relationship. Another instance would be how I haven’t received a single thing from her the whole 24 hours of my most recent birthday besides a single-sentence greeting. Not even a long message or a post/story from social media. After I brought this up to her after my birthday, she thought that I would not mind it and it honestly slipped her mind. Just one day out 365 days in a year and I didn’t at least receive anything special from her.

Opening up to friends about these most recent issues, they all agree about how bizarre our circumstances and setup is and how they could not believe how we talk so scarcely the past 2-3 years. I usually brush it off as how not all relationships are the same and how couples work things out differently, but recently seeing how my partner still does not show effort to make for lost time for each other throughout the years in our relationship with my emotional needs being neglected (which I have honestly been in denial of over the years), I’ve been questioning my will to stay and hope for a better change will happen.

Over our multiple discussions and arguments over lack of time, I know that I am the one who have made great adjustments. I am not discounting her visible efforts on her end as well such as squeezing time to call with me at midnights (which always eventually cease); however, I feel like if we start to force these things that maybe it is not right anymore. I know she’s trying so hard, but the numerous breakdowns we’ve both had together over this one issue has honestly made me avoid bringing it up nowadays given how it usually ends up with her ranting about how much she has on her plate. God knows that I have done my best to keep myself busy with other things besides our relationship so that I do not look for her too much anymore and how much I did my best to be as understanding and patient of her and the circumstances of our relationship, but I am so so tired.

We have tried setting specific times for us to spend time together, but other obligations has led us to not follow that. Study calls were not her thing because she said she can’t focus during them and limitations in our internet connections completely hinder us from studying together.

I have recently done my best to commute to her unit by her uni after we didnt talk on the week of our anniv, and it honestly keeps everything at bay for me. I am honestly happy and content when I am finally at her side, but I know I cannot keep relying on these meetings for they are not sustainable for the both of us. All i could think about when i am finally at her place is how miserable will feel again once we go our separate ways again for we can only see each other usually only one or twice a month. How she can be content with such meager interaction and communications is what I have been honestly striving to do, but it is so beyond me.

I know that the amount of time spent keeping a relationship going is never a reason to stay, but I just want to know if there are others in the same situation as us and whether or not it is still right to keep going. Aside from our lack of time, I know that we are both just set on each other. There is no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I do not want to look over my personal wants and needs from what we have for the sake of our potential together as lifelong partners.

tldr: my girlfriend and I barely interact/talk down to the point that her bare minimum obligations to me as a partner are not met, and recent events have made me contemplate breakup but I still desire to endure everything for the sake of our potential as partners.