Im extremely shy and have kinda bad social anxiety and only speak when spoken to. I never approach people doesnt matter gender sure its harder with ppl i find attractive but thats a whole nother ball game, but when i am in a social situation unless theres a topic that someone else brings up my mind completely draws blanks and i will simply sit in silence until they inevitably get bored of me. It’s to the point where i have zero social life nor do i know how to change but im so terrified of looking desperate which gets in the way as well.
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Are there people you are talkative with? People you find easy to converse with? It’s easier to talk and be yourself with close friends, not sure if you have or had a relationship with anyone like this, but sometimes it’s not even social anxiety but not feeling safe enough to interact with others because you feel judged or finding them completely unrelatable.
Sometimes it’s things like this that manifest as social anxiety, but finding the root reason, whatever it may be for you, helps with remedying it or your perspective on it. Like I know sometimes it isn’t me but the person and I having completely different communications styles and 0 overlapping interests or life experience. Sometimes this can be like everyone I am surrounded with. Which makes me feel like it’s my fault conversation isn’t happening but if I shift to understanding it that way I can just relax. Find your people and develop some hobbies that you can find communities in. Skating, lifting, running, rock climbing, music, whatever it is these are the easiest places to start conversations by just talking about the shared interest somehow. Anyways hope your anxiety eases and you find some likeminded individuals