Every time I (21M) watch a movie, video, or even see a post on social media, that makes me think of my future and specifically a future that has a significant other in it, I always envision the person I’m with to be my ex (22F). Does these thoughts ever go away? It’s been a few months since we have broken up and we ended on bad terms recently after a drunk argument at a bar. But even after all of the fights and negative emotions, I still think of her whenever I think of a future with someone else. It’s just a habit that when I see a movie with a couple in it I always put myself in the movie and my partner is always her.
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TL;DR I always think of my ex whenever I see a romantic movie or video. I always see her being my partner in those type of situations. Does this ever go away?
4 comments
uh yah.. because at this point you have no other person to fill that mental gap.. start going on dates and such, and the ex will slowely dissapear from those thoughts. this is more relevant when it was your first adult SERIOUS relationship.. they tend to stick a little harder until you meet somebody better and wonder why you spent so much time harassing yourself, and then answer reddit questions for younger dudes who are where you used to be.. just chill, find some new dates, and enjoy the freedom of being single for a bit.
It goes away.
It doesn’t seem like it will, and it doesn’t seem like you always want it to because you still love that person.
Over time, you end up in new situations and just stop thinking about them. For me it usually involved new relationships and friendships.
I would warn not to jump into new relationships with the thought of getting over an ex though – that’s not healthy and isn’t fair to you or your new partner.
You should try and build new relationships and find reasons to be excited for them.
I think it’s natural to think back and love each of our exes in life. A part of that never goes away.
What changes is the desire to be with them, and it turns more into a “I hope she’s happy out there, where ever she is!” Type of feeling.
I know it feels like your love is special and it will never be replaced – but trust me, if you put yourself out there and just try and be happy by yourself, you meet newer experiences that are just as good or better.
I felt how you feel after most of my breakups in my 20s, and every time I felt like it could never be as good.
It’s always as good though – always! And you look back and laugh that if you hadn’t had the earlier love and broken up, it never would have led you to this new person who you love deeply!
Yes, you’ll feel nothing for him. Don’t look at his social media, EVER!!! Anything you say will be in your mind forever.
It goes away in time. I remember being curled up in the fetal position grieving my ex like someone had died. Reminding myself, I’ve been through this before, it will go away, it just hurts so much now. It took a really long time, like Definitely over 6 months to even feel ok, let alone feel like I could be with someone else. I wasn’t ready to date after that for about a year. It’s really really painful to end a relationship with someone you love, even if they suck and they lied to you and cheated on you your whole relationship. But the pain does go away eventually.