Hey, I’m 24 years old.
I’m struggling so hard with my significant other.
We are not a couple, but we act like one almost for a year. I have abandonment issues, I ended my previous relationship like a year ago and instantly started to move on too fast on this guy. I’m autistic, I thought he felt the same. We started to be friends eventually. I told our mutual “friend” I’m into him and she told his ex gf (they broke up I think year before) Cut me out of his life for a while because I was too much but a few days later came back and apologised, told me he was stupid and I didn’t deserve it. I accepted his apology.
His gf spreads some rumours about me. He told me about this because he wanted me to know, but didn’t tell me it was her. That’s why I took his phone to check. He never sided with me, just told her “i guess”
So the main problem is that we basically act like a couple but we aren’t one. Let me explain. He doesn’t want to ruin what we have because he tends to focus on only one person and from his experiences from the previous relationships it turned out to be a disaster. He wants to work on our relationship. I have never felt enough, I wanted to be more than. We make love, we kiss in public but his ex doesn’t know that we still have contact with each other. I moved out for a year to another country, planning to go back in July. He told me he wants to try after I return to my country.
Yeah, they both want to apply for a phd studies, they both graduated from the same majors. She’s in his life. I infiltrated his phone and there wasn’t anything bad in their conversations. Either way, I don’t want them to talk. Since he has never mentioned me. He told her he doesn’t have a girlfriend like a half of a year ago because she asked how’s life. He told me he has feelings for me in August.
The main problem is that he had tinder… but still nothing. No pairs. He told me he felt insecure because I used to ask him about the source of memes (because I always asked if our mutual friend sent him) and he felt stupid, because he only talks to me and his ex and our mutual friend (among girls) and just wanted to see memes because he doesn’t have Facebook (?). I think he sort of thought I might think he’s a “loser” to only talk to them. I’m the only person he talks to everyday, on a daily basis. Calls me his fav person, his best friend, uses cute nicknames.
He had screens of memes on tinder in his gallery. He also had the screen of his exs memes on tinder.
He told me he loves me after I found out. I was so angry at him. He has never told me before he loves me. He was crying and hyperventilating because he doesn’t want to lose me. He has problems talking about his fears and problems.
He has the same code, I have a free access to his phone. That’s funny. But I don’t want to check.
Still. Do you guys think I’m stupid to wait? I’m autistic, I don’t know if I should believe that.