I’m a 24F and I’ve never experienced an orgasm in any way other than self masturbation. I only get off to certain porn, mostly male on male gay porn which I don’t quite understand but whatever works right. I’ve been with females and males sexually, and have tried to make it happen but i just can’t. I used to always think my soulmate would be the one to actually crack the code and get me to bust lol, but I don’t feel that’s the case anymore. Ive confided in a long term partner of this before and we tried to figure it out, but never could. I’m at a lost, any advice would be cool. Currently single now, not having any partner issues, just interested in what others say honestly.
3 comments
Disclaimer: I’m a guy so I’m not necessarily speaking from first hand experience.
There is a reason why there are so many jokes about guys “finding the G-spot” or not even knowing what a clit is. Sex is pretty self explanatory but good sex is a bit more elusive. It requires open communication and a certain level of comfort. Everybody is different so while some guys, gals and non-binary pals can get off easily, others require specific movements, trust and intimacy to have a good time. There is also a certain level of comfort you must have within yourself to let go. Sex, especially when you’re orgasming is a vulnerable act. You’re worried about a million things, pleasing your partner, not making a dumb face, saying the right things and maybe even “am I ever going to be able to orgasm?” Getting too stuck inside your head is self defeating.
With that being said, self exploration is a great first step. Figure out what works for you. Try getting off without porn, use toys, vibrators. Does penetration work or does external stimulation seem bette, or a combination of both? The biggest thing when with a partner is open/honest dialogue though. Throw the egos aside. It can be disheartening as a guy to know that the girl you are with isn’t getting off too. But that’s what foreplay and after play are for! Finding a partner willing to put your needs on the same level as their own will go a long way.
One great way to get to know yourself is through meditation. Being able to clear your head of the millions of passing thoughts is great practice for all aspects of life, sex included.
This reply was kinda rambly but hope it helps!
I (38f) also only get true orgssums from self pleasure and porn. I enjoy sex and “finish”, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly orgasumed from PIV, even with other assistance. I think for me I get so excited with my partner that my clit becomes to sensitive to respond.
Im 42, didnt have my first orgasm until I was 24. Has a woman, I can tell you, we are in our head too much during sex. The best thing you can try when being intimate with a partner is communicate what you like or dislike. Ask them to give you a massage, a bath, some way to relax your mind and clear your tension. Believe me girl, Im very hard to give an orgasm to. Also I like men on men too lol. Its sexy lol