I’m a junior (third year out of four) in university and, I’ve only asked out four girls, I’ve been on dates with three girls, but have only really liked two. One was my ex and the other person was the most recent person who I asked to be my gf, but she said she wants to work on her life before she gets into any relationships, so basically she’s uninterested. I keep getting hang ups when I meet someone like, ‘Oh, I’d ask for her number, but… *insert something here*’ or ‘She seems nice, but… *insert something here*’. Or, of course, the person who I’m interested in/getting information on already has a bf, but that’s normal.
I can’t seem to like anyone who’s, on surface level, not a lot like me.
Like, all the ppl I’ve asked out are STEM Majors who are also good at sports and have played an instrument as that’s what I am. I can’t seem to be attracted to ppl who aren’t STEM Majors, or who haven’t played a sport competitively, or they haven’t played instruments when they were younger.
7 comments
I see this as an advantage. A limited pool means you waste less time and energy on dating. There are so so many people who exhaust themselves in dating. Become emotionally bruised and then numb and then utterly incapable of actual meaningful relationships.
Yes, there is a chance you will never find the right one. But I don’t think your chances are worse than someone who runs himself ragged.
Having very exacting criteria isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you’ll have to also have very strict criteria *for yourself*.
This ideal woman you’re describing is athletic and attractive and totally surrounded by thirsty boys in the sausage fest that is STEM. You’re gonna need to be a real champion among men to win that contest.
If you can pull it off, great. If you can’t, rethink your standards or yourself.
A word of warning though: industry is an even greater bro party than the college programs. It’s dudes all the way down out here, not a single woman in any of these technical meetings.
The thing about life is that you gotta realise no-one is perfect: we all have our flaws. But the person who we fall in love with (or who, in turn, loves us) comes to accept these flaws as part of a greater whole. If we were unable to do that then we’d all die alone.
So consider how valuable your judgements are early on. Obviously avoid glaring red flags, but if they’re minor things then maybe wait a little while and see how those minor things fit into the larger picture of the person. Things can be addressed in conversation/relationships, so often the small things get ironed out once there’s trust and intimacy between two people.
You know those hangups? Next time you have one just ignore it.
You’re fussy. A little excessively so, perhaps, but that’s all it is.
You don’t most women like most men are straight trash. Keep your standards high bro.
I’d go by my old teachers 70% rule for picking subjects. If you like or are ok with 70% of the material then you will probably enjoy the course. I’ve found it works pretty well with dating but your milage may vary.