I (29F) have been very senstive the past month in regards to dating. I came here for advice because I literally just started crying over this situation I’m in right now. I’ve been wanting a relationship for quite a while but my experiences never even go past the first date let alone get to know someone.
Ok so, I met E and G on hinge. G (31M) and I went on a first date, he was SUPER nice, seemed like a genuine good person but he had a really strong feminine energy (don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against gay people in fact I am bi myself and have tons of gay friends) but I obviously don’t feel attracted to them, and that’s how I felt with G, like I was talking to a FRIEND. However, G has been chatting to me ever since and I have been replying because he seems very caring. I ended up not replying to G the past few days because I was super busy with NY but also because, well, I’m not that interested, but I still felt bad not replying, so I just decided to reply if he texts me again.
I then ended up meeting with E (28M) about two weeks ago. E has been chatting to me for the past 3 or 4 months and he would always stop replying or leave me on read and then come back again and at one point I thought he had ghosted but we finally set up a date and went out. It was so fun, he said he wanted to see me again, but after we went out, he would constantly leave me on read for days, ask questions and not reply when I asked something back, would reappear randomly and not be consistent, which made me super anxious.
Anyway, I posted an insta stories two days where I felt cute and he instantly messaged me asking how the festival I was going to was and replying quickly. So E and I met up again and then we spent the night together and oh my gosh, it was amazing. We didn’t have sex but everything was just so lovely. I feel that the fact that we’ve been chatting for months made it more special and it was a bit different then a guy I only see once after a week of chatting and never see again. When he said goodbye he said “I’ll see you soon”, which, in dating world I know it means we won’t.
So 1 and a half days have gone by and E hasn’t texted me. I was cooking right now just thinking about how this pasty year I have been interested in all the guys that ended up not even taking me on a second or third date and how I wish E would text me and how much I feel like we’d have so much potential, then all of a sudden G texts me asking if “I’m alive” and I kid you not, I started crying. Like damn, on one side I’ve got this lovely guy who has been nothing but sweet to me but which very much feels like a friend rather than a romantic partner and I have no attraction at all, and on the other side, this super fun and cool guy who seems very sensitive and sweet who didn’t even bother messaging me “thanks for the night”.
Now, I know this may be a stretch, but I’m considering texting E in a few days asking him out for dinner. I tend to overthink and I’m thinking if maybe I said something that made him feel like I didn’t want to see him anymore, but at the same time, I feel like if he wanted to, he would. E said he only had one relationship in his life which ended 5 years ago and lasted 5 years, so I am trying not to blame myself, but at the same time, I wish he wanted me to.
What should I do? Should I give this another try or is it already too much stress for the beginning of something?
5 comments
Trust me when I say: follow your gut. If you’re not feeling more than friendship, roll with that. Don’t wander into a relationship for the wrong reasons.
E might be playing with your head, women like the rollercoast of emotions, highs lows, hot cold, pull push… he is literally doing the textbook plays to get you to think about him…he might be seeing a bit much if fitxfearless vids in youtube…but hey I guess it’s working for him 🤷♂️
>like I was talking to a FRIEND
You owe it to G to not lead him on like this. Friendzone him and let him decide if he wants to be the BFF and not the BF. But if you lose him, then at least he made a decision.
Nix E. If you’re not going to be available to fuck him on a casual basis, don’t bother to contact, just lose his number. Because that’s clearly what he wants in this ‘relationship.’
That’s 2 letters. 24 letters in the alphabet to go.
Sorry but it sounds to me like E realized he is just not into you, if he was he would have reached out or established another date. I’ve been there before, you might have a lovely time with someone but there isn’t that chemistry that keeps you wanting more. I would actually see yourself as G in this situation, you were probably a friend to E and no more.
Unfortunately that’s life, you can certainly try messaging him but you probably aren’t going to have any luck with E, and you need to leave G alone because you shouldn’t waste his time.
Never settle!