What incorrect advice are men constantly given?

44 comments

  1. No matter your circumstances you are benefiting from ‘patriarchy’ and ‘male privilege’

  2. “Just be yourself” – This is incorrect. What you need to be is a very carefully marketed version of yourself. Don’t be the Big Mac you get served in the restaurant. Be the Big Mac on the billboard.

    “Don’t do it to be attractive, do it for you” – This is naïve. Even if you genuinely personally want to, for example, get ripped at the gym, the reason you want to do that rather than open a decorative hat shop is the social construct of masculinity, which has as a core part the idea that you’re a failure unless at least some women want to sleep with you. Might as well cut out the middle man and admit that you want to be attractive.

  3. I really hate “worst she can say is no”

    No is the 2nd best thing she can say behind yes. You know what’s worse than no? Whole lot of stuff. “Oh… maybe.” “You’re disgusting” or my favorite: “ “

  4. Anything a woman tells you about dating, just completely ignore it. Women are jarringly terrible at giving men dating advice. The only exception is they can tell you what pics/clothes you look good in. Everything else, no thanks.

  8. To be an “ally” and to “support women” in general.

    Nope. Support the women you love. Nobody is entitled to your support based on their gender. Your mothers, sisters, daughters, partners etc. deserve your love. Not some random twat that pushes for discriminatory quotas and tweets “#KillAllMen”

  13. Any advice given by someone who has never had a successful relationship.

    Any advice given by hypocrites. For example, requiring low body count but having a high body count themselves.

    Any advice given by someone who hasn’t experienced what they are giving advice on.

  14. For me, it’s always don’t show emotion. Men have to suffer inside and be strong no matter the circumstance. Agreed, we have to be strong for others at times, and so do women. But it’s ok to let the hurt out to people. We need to survive sadness, happiness, and anxiety, just like the rest.

  15. to be nice, and do nice things, without saying to be strong and have your own life first

  16. Most of the dating platitudes that are conflicting.

    Pick up new hobbies. Go where the single women go, except don’t go with the intention of meeting women, go because you’re interested. Except I’m not interested in many hobbies where there would be single women. I’m a sports guy. Yes I know there are women who like sports too but there are far fewer women at those venues than men and the ones that are there are usually with their boyfriends. If I picked the hobbies I’m interested in I would more than likely end up still in male-dominated social circles and be no closer to finding someone than I am currently. The *only* reason I would ever be at something like painting or yoga class is to try and meet people because I don’t have any actual interest in those things (Yes I know those are not the only hobbies where women are, I’m just using them as examples). Even if I try them and like them, I still started going there with the intention of finding a girlfriend.

    Then when you tell people the hobbies you have they’re like “Well yeah! You have to go where the women are gonna be.” But I thought I wasn’t supposed to pick up hobbies with the intention of meeting women?

    It’s like people are saying “Try but at the same time don’t.” I think that’s where my issue with a lot of this advice comes from. People say to broaden your spectrum of hobbies and what not but don’t do it for the purpose of a relationship. But if I do listen to that advice and pick up new hobbies I’m not doing it because I want to I’m doing it in hopes to eventually be in a relationship because I’m content with the hobbies I have now. It’s contradictory.

  18. When men complain about not being able to date they are often told “get in shape” “work on your social skills”.

    This is great advice but it’s being conveyed the wrong way. Don’t do these thing for women. DO THEM FOR YOURSELF.

  20. Money can’t buy happiness. Or “not every date has to be about spending money”. When’s the last time anyone went outside with friends and didn’t spend money the whole time? Go ahead…

    Everything is money. Only way *not* to spend money is to spend it a day before for the day of. Unless everyone else secretly has parties at the park and free food and drinks are tossed around by friendly companies.

    Edit: Oh this is “advice given by women”. Or that’s how everyone read the title?

  21. “Getting old sucks”. Nope. If you take care of yourself and responsibilities you’ll be fine.

    “Never be ashamed of getting old. It’s a privilege denied to many. “

  22. I am about to walk to the book store. I’ll give it a gander.

    But you get my point, acting out your emotions leads you to a pretty dark place.

  23. Size doesn’t matter.

    It only doesn’t seem to matter to people on Reddit. But a majority of the population isn’t on Reddit. From what I know from in person. Most women want a 6inch dick Atleast and I’ve heard of women making fun of 5 inch penises. Women aren’t stupid. They know how big of a penis they like.

  24. Anything from so-called “Pick up Artists”. Unless you are a sociopath they don’t work (and even then they mostly don’t work)

  25. Be friends with a girl after she rejects you. **Some** dudes can do it without a problem. A lot of dudes can’t and the ship has sailed

  26. That men should cry more. We all experience and express emotions differently. No one is entitled to your emotions. Not everything has to be on public display. Stoicism is not toxic. Better advice is to make sure you process your emotions and reflect on your actions. You don’t have to cry in front of someone to prove that you are experiencing grief.

  28. “The right person will love you for who you are” a woman will love you for trying to be a better man. If you’re the same version of yourself for thebrest of your life youll always be miserable

  29. I would say the fundamental premise that people will reward or respect you for doing the right thing, *and* that there is an equal reaction to doing the wrong thing.

    Very often principles, ideals & even kindness will be a giant pain in the ass you are punished for. You have to do those things for yourself, be the person you want to be & try to build the world you want to live in, but expect to suffer for it at least (on occasion) while scumbags thrive by being scumbags (at least on occasion).

    Society will hold you to impossible standards which are very often mutually exclusive with their other expectations, but the consequences for failing will only be applied when people don’t like you, or you aren’t useful to them.

    Just try to surround yourself with honest & healthy people as early and often as possible. When you meet them keep them around.

  32. “Women love men who able to be vulnerable and show their emotions”… WRONG.

    They love men who are able to be understanding and supportive while THEY are being vulnerable and showing THEIR emotions.

    If you cry in front of a woman, your relationship will never be the same after that moment.

  33. That it is okay to be weak and take it easy. Challenge is part of being a man and you need to go through tough, challenging times and not fold under the pressure.

  35. “Good things come to those who wait.” I’ve heard this so so many times (or something similar) especially for people not having much luck dating. It’s never worked for me and it won’t work for most. I’m pretty sure this isn’t even the full quote.

  38. “If you’re depressed you should just go to the gym more”

    That might help a little, but you should get professional help.

  39. I am not a man, but from a woman’s perspective I can explain a great deal of bad advice my ex’s took from women who did not want to see their relationship with me succeed.

    Let me know if I should give you this helpful information by responding to this comment or an upvote, that way I can know it’s not unsolicited information.

  40. Women are attracted to funny guys, when its far closer to women find men they’re attracted to funnier.

  41. Men don’t cry. Money can’t buy happiness.

    If you’re gonna cry, it’s better to cry in a Porsche than a Kia. 😅

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