Me [F38] and my partner [M44] were on holiday in Barcelona, we had both had a few drinks, left the bar and realised I’d left behind his cigarettes. I insisted on going back to look for them, he was equally insistent that I didn’t and stood in front of me but I walked around him. To give some background I didn’t want the night being ruined by him being in a mood about me leaving the cigarettes, he maybe wouldn’t but he can be like that. He said oh fuck off then and left me. We had a major falling out when he found me 15 minutes later because I was upset and felt scared alone in the city at night. We have since sorted it out. We’ve been together 2 years and barely argued before that. Six of one and half a dozen of the other? Would you follow someone even if they were being annoying or walk off and leave them?
19 comments
Yeah, if youre gonna have an argument because of that, im just gonna say that yall probably have some bigger issues to sort out
Alcohol can turn little arguments into big arguments quickly. He wan not in the right, but it should have been a nothing dispute.
Barely arguing is not necessarily a good sign. Have you ever avoided a fight to preemptively prevent this “mood” you were trying to avoid here?? If so, then he’s successfully found a way to manipulate you.
You both are wrong. You were told not to do something – therefore you should not expect support when you still go ahead and do it.
He is wrong for his tone and choice of words….given the situation all of that was unnesesary.
It’s important to remember that it’s normal for couples to have disagreements and conflicts, and it’s important to have the skills to effectively communicate and resolve these issues in a healthy way. In this situation, it sounds like you and your partner had a misunderstanding and a disagreement about your actions, which led to a falling out.
It’s understandable that you wanted to retrieve the cigarettes to prevent the night being ruined, and it’s also understandable that your partner was concerned about your safety and didn’t want you to go back to the bar alone. It’s important for both partners to communicate their needs and concerns openly and to try to find a solution that works for both of you. In this case, it may have been helpful for you to explain your reasoning for wanting to go back to the bar, and for your partner to listen and consider your perspective.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to make sure that you and your partner are able to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts in a healthy way. It’s also important to remember that it’s normal to have disagreements and that it’s possible to repair the damage and move forward after a disagreement. If you continue to have difficulty communicating and resolving conflicts, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these issues.
Why did he object?
If you didn’t want him to be in a mood about leaving them then why would you think going past him when he didn’t care would help you?
This relationship doesn’t sound healthy.
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So… you walked off, adult woman alone in a strange city late at night. Yet somehow, as your sworn protector, he was expected to follow you?
My advice? Don’t pull that kind of stunt again.
You’re wrong, for you’re only assuming, and he was honest with his response.
No matter what happens a man shouldnt leave his lady alone at night on the street. JMO.
There isnt any way or reason he might think u “forgot the cigarettes” as an attempt to talk to someone inside without him?
Whyd it take 15 mins to run in and come out?
Why are you responsible for his cigarettes to begin with?
If you were going to have problems anyways then you should have left behind the cigarettes. It wasn’t worth endangering your life for some stupid replaceable cigarettes.
You were both wrong. A woman should never walk alone in a place like that. A man should never let a woman he knows walk alone.
You forgot his cigarettes? You mean he forgot his own cigarettes and you remembered?
Why doesn’t he take care of his own damn cigarettes?
He told you not to worry about the cigarettes
You ignored him, and you walked away – he didn’t leave you, as you were already walking away.
He then said fuck off, and walked off
Then you got lost, and upset.
Sorry but where do you think you did anything right in that situation?
A packet of cigarettes, which I’m sure costs less there than it does where I live.
You probably could have picked a packet up on your way back to wherever you were staying.
His mistake was saying fuck off. Your mistake was everything else.
Next time try thinking.
INFO: How did YOU leave behind HIS cigarettes?
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the *tapas* bars?