Sooo, normally I don’t drink but I was at a small party with friends with guy I like. I drank a lot and he took me home, and I ended up spilling so much. I don’t remember, but he tells me what I said and I’m horrified.
Anyway he wanted to do it and I told him I was sobering up. Which I thought I was but turns out I was not.
I did want to have sex with him originally, but I’m shy and knew that wasn’t going to happen cause I’m not bold. So when he offered, I jumped at chance. I did consent, and that’s what I wanted, but I’ve read that drunk people can’t consent so now I’m worried that I actually never did consent. Even though I said yes.
He’s a nice guy, super honest about what went on. Telling me what I said, making a joke of some things to make me comfortable. I just wanna be assured that it’s not a red flag I screwed him while drunk.
Tl;dr: screwed a guy while blackout (not fully. I remember some parts but not everything.)
4 comments
If you consent before and after, it’s consent. You’re ok
Depending where you live being intoxicated can affect the laws of consent, but if you’re feeling okay after the fact I wouldn’t worry. If you feel weird about the way it went down you can have a discussion about it.
If you are happy about it after the fact, it’s fine. And please realize in this circumstance, the other option is you think he SA’d you, which from your description isn’t the case, right? If not, don’t talk about this in terms that could ruin his reputation around others. If you feel taken advantage of, that’s an entirely different thing
In a lot of those situations both participants are drunk, so consent is very questionable in the eyes of the law. No means no in any situation regardless.