I (F22) started masturbating a couple of months ago to get more comfortable with my body. I never masturbated before that, and only went about as far as fingering with my ex because I found touching my genitals weird and penetration uncomfortable.
I bought a vibrator and have gotten way more comfortable with myself (still working on being comfortable with penetration though), but I’m confused about whether I’ve been having orgasms or not. After I get warmed up, I hit a point where my entire body starts convulsing involuntarily — like, shaking-the-entire-bed, waves-of-sensation kind of thing. it happens pretty fast with my vibrator, but I can do it with my hand as well, given enough time. The feeling doesn’t seem to intensify past that, and it stops whenever I remove my vibrator/stop moving my hand. I don’t know if it can go on indefinitely, since I get kind of bored and stop when nothing else happens.
I was expecting something more like a “sneeze” — one big release or something. But I’ve also heard it can be like a series of contractions, which is kind of what I’ve been experiencing. Though I assumed there would be a more obvious end point.
Most of the advice I’ve read just says something frustrating like “You’ll know it when you have one.” I know I’m having *something*, but is it an orgasm?
3 comments
It sounds as if you’ve discovered the wonders of clit play. It’s a tired old cliche but everybody’s experience is different, even for men, and there’s no saying what your future experiences will be, going forward.
Fun fact. Did you know that the average penis tip has about 4,000 nerve endings in it? The average female clitoris tip has about 10,000 nerve endings in it. It may be why women tend to experience total body orgasms more often than men do. That is possibly what you experienced and some people would give an arm or a leg to experience it.
To me, a telltale sign of an orgasm is the build up. If you feel something continually building up, and then having a feeling of release which usually comes with a bit of fatigue as well, that’s an orgasm.
I understand it’s frustrating, especially since I haven’t heard from anyone that they don’t know for sure. All I can give as far as advice is just keep practicing and having fun, and as long as you’re comfortable and feeling good, you’re doing just fine, regardless of what you’re actually experiencing (or not)!
Unfortunately, your question cannot be answered by anyone at this point. It is possible it was an orgasm, but it might not have been. Except it’s very important in beginning stages of sexual awakening to not worry about questions like this. You need to focus on learning your body and making the experiences better. Because if you can become sexual aware you’ll realize it’s about the experience and not definitions. Isn’t it better to question how you can explore yourself in new ways and find new things you enjoy to keep making the experiences better?
If you start boxing your sexual experiences into chronicled experienced you could develop some very detrimental hang ups. “I didn’t have an orgasm – something must be wrong with me. “Does this mean I’m not sexually compatible with my sexual partner?” “What if I can never have a real orgasm?”
It takes time to learn the female body even if it’s you’re own body. I’ve been married to my wife for 3 years now, have a fair amount of previous sexual experience, and I’m still constantly exploring new ways to change the sexual experience. My wife, who’s very sexual and well versed in exploring her own body, is still learning new things and having different experiences. To be a bit cliche, there’s a lot to the journey not just the destination.
Even if it was an orgasm, orgasms aren’t like a Coke where they’re all the same and you know what you’re going to get. You’re convulsing now, but one day if you hit a spot in the right way you’re eyes might roll in the back of your head and you come down with temporary case of Tourettes. Years down the road you might suddenly find out you’re a squirter and spray the bed like a fire house. Point is, you could end up having dozens of different types of orgasms and differences or changes don’t mean they aren’t all orgasms.