I have recently turned 30, and over the last few years I have realized a general feature about almost all of my colleagues and friends: They just love talking about themselves.
They just tell and tell, explain one cool thing they did, another cool experience they had, explain one opinion they have and so… This happens without them caring what happens in other people’s lives.
So this pattern makes all my interactions with these people one sided: They tell, I listen. For the sake of keeping the conversation up, I ask questions, hoping that in return they would also ask questions about me. But this is almost never the case. I end up listening to what they got to say. And sometimes I put there there what I got as well, but I feel like they are never interested in what I say, even if I follow the same topic they have been talking about. They are just focused on what they have to say about their lives.
This makes me just sad, because I put the effort to make a conversation, try to be interested in my friends’/colleagues’ lives, and in return I get nothing. I have this immense need to have someone in life who is interested in the things I got to say as well, but I don’t seem to have it. Is there anyone else out there feeling the same?
1 comment
I’m 18 i’ve noticed the same thing, I thought i’m the only one going through this. But i’ll tell you what, you’re way more intelligent than them, they never realize that they speak but never listen, however you did realized which is amazing since you’re aware of yourself. You have high manners to let someone talk about their opinions freely and you would sit there and listen. I think the world ran out of people like you. I would love to have a conversation with someone so aware and conscious like you! During the darkest hours of the civil war Abraham Lincoln wrote to an old friend asking him to come to discuss some problems , when he came Lincoln talked to him for hours, after talking for hours Lincoln shook hands with his friend and said goodnight and sent back his friend without even asking for his opinion, Lincoln hadn’t wanted advice. He wanted a merely a friendly sympathetic listener to whom he could unburden himself. We need more people like you (listeners) you really should be proud of yourself. I thought I would never run into such a listener. I sincerely appreciate your being!