I (19F) am super introverted and stopped having many friends in high school when covid hit. I have a couple friends but we’ve drifted apart enough to not talk very often anymore. We just dont really have much in common like we used to.
Now that I’m not in school anymore, I really don’t know how to make friends. I’ve been job hopping which doesn’t help. I know it sounds cheesy but i’ve thought of joining facebook groups or clubs.
I just get so lonely. The only friend I really talk to is my boyfriend and lets be honest, he cant be my only friend. So, how do y’all do it?
Side note: I have terrible social anxiety and I am really awkward, but most don’t seem to notice.
5 comments
Yeah, making friends as adults is something lots of people struggle with. Even my extroverted friends have seen their social circles dwindle a lot since graduating.
Making friends usually involves having repeated interactions with people. School made this really easy, especially if you stayed with the same group of people for years. Now you just have to find a way to give yourself those repeated interactions as an adult.
I do recommend joining clubs and FB groups. There’s nothing cheesy about them, and you’ll be surprised how many people in there are also looking for friends as well. Try to show up to the clubs consistently or post a lot in the FB groups so people can become familiar with you.
I’ve also used the app Bumble. It’s mostly known as a dating app, but there’s an option for you to meet friends instead of dates. If you hit it off with someone, make sure to see them often and put effort into nurturing the connection.
Finally, look for opportunities in people you already know. Does your boyfriend have friends? If you are okay with them, you guys should hang out with them more and also encourage them to bring their friends to these hangouts sometimes.
Might try Meetup but might be hard with SA.
From experience: they don’t. Just stay in your lane.
“Adult” broski you’re 19.
Okay, try activities that force you/other people to interact with each other. My go to? Dance classes, church groups, sports. Pick what you like.
And hey, this is hard, don’t beat yourself up if you take some time
What helped me is not waiting for invites. Invite people to do things. People are lazy. They don’t want to come up with plans.
I love skating, I have a group of buddies who like skating, and I met these guys through work and other friends. 9/10 times I’m the one asking to skate. 8/10 they are busy. The times we have gone out and skate have been plenty enough that I can ask them if they would like to do other things. Do not take rejection personally. People have their reasons. Know when to back off if you sense the vibe is off
I also have a group of friends that are proactive, I’m the odd one out since they were all a friend group that I just joined. I kinda lay on the backburner and just accept invites. I don’t really come up with plans for that group since they are more proactive already.
Understand the type of people you meet. “Do they tend to come up with plans and invite me?” Ask that question, then figure out what would work for you if you want to be friends
Say yes to as many hangout requests as you can