I’m traveling solo female, and last night I did a bar crawl. I obviously talked to and chatted with a bunch of people. One of the guys and I chatted for a while and he mentioned he was trying to get a group to go to a club the next day. He invited me and I said I was up for it. As far as I know, he invited some others too.
By the end of the night, he got a little flirty and he was complimenting me. We danced together, he did mention that he was “into me,” but nothing else happened. I guess I’m ok with flirting, dancing and drinking but I’m not looking for a hookup at all. So I tried to keep enough distance and talk to others so he wouldn’t think anything was going to happen.
At the end of the night, I had a headache so I called a cab and went home. We exchanged instagrams but I did that with a few others as well.
Today, he called and told me that basically everyone else he invited from the group bailed so it would just be us. Honestly, I’m in a foreign country alone. It’s a Saturday night and I want to go have fun. However, I am not interested in having sex with this guy. He’s attractive smart etc…but I just don’t want to hookup with a random dude. It’s not my thing.
If I go, and we are flirty again, am I leading him on or doing something wrong? Frankly I’m ok with dancing and drinking maybe a little flirting but I am 100% not going to sleep with this guy. I kind of feel like he’s going to get his hopes up since I’m agreeing to hang out, and I’ll be kind of look crazy for agreeing to hang out when I had no intentions.
Any advice?
6 comments
What do you guys have planned for tonight?
Nah. You don’t know this guy nor do you owe him anything. I would tell him up front that you are happy to hang out but are not looking to hook up tonight and that you just want to go out and have fun. Communicate and be honest. If he bails on you then he was just looking for sex. You can find some other fun thing to do instead. Good luck and stay safe!
I would just tell him all that up front just be like “hey I’m just visiting would love to go out and see the nightlife and have a few drinks after which i can sometimes get a bit flirty but I’m not looking to hook up the one night stand is not my thing” i often find if your honest people are cool with it plus he wont feel led on and if thats what he was hoping for well you can make other plans
Best of luck enjoy your night!
Don’t waste his fucking time. Go buy a cucumber.
Just dont go back to his place
Just have the decency to tell him in advance. He is having hopes. If you tell him before he can decide if he still wants to spend some time with you or if it’s not worth it for him then.