I’m exceptionally thankful (and lucky!) that this isn’t my current situation. That being said, in high school it absolutely was. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it then, and I’m still not entirely sure how I would deal with it right now if I were put back into the same situation.
You have lots of “friends,” hell, maybe even a little clique. And it’s not necessarily the case that when you do talk or hang out that it’s dry or boring; in fact you may both have a great time and talk about it often…but nobody reaches out to YOU! It’s always you planning things or initiating the conversation.
I know lots of us have been there, and some may even be going through it right now. What exactly does it mean? Why does it happen? Is it an indication of a crumby friendship, or is it the result of ME being crumby?
3 comments
Let it stay that way
Then let it be. Nothing is more humiliating than desperate begging
I’m in this exact situation right now and let me tell you there’s is no harm in being always the one to reach out first. There’s nothing desperate in it and in fact maybe one of your friends will be grateful for it.
In my case, the reason why my own circle of friends rarely reaches out to me is because they are aware of the things that keep me constantly busy: a stressful time in occupational therapy school, my older sister duties, and the fact that I rarely have enough money in me to go anywhere with them. I’m vocal about those things which sadly led to being isolated not because they think I’m boring (they know I have a ridiculously rich inner world) but because they just don’t want to get in the way of my responsibilities.
Aside from that, we rarely meet people who matches the same energy that we have. I have friends who I’ve visited/checked on many times but they have never thought about visiting/checking in on me in return. I’ve thought long and hard if whether to still consider them as friends and just remain as acquaintances. There’s also no harm if you decide to keep them as acquaintances. Never expect people to match the energy you give out to them because it will surely break your heart.