Darling Americans, do West Coasters come off as flirty to East Coasters?

Darling Americans, do West Coasters come off as flirty to East Coasters?

I (F29) am an autistic girl from the South West region of the United States, but have recently become friends with a lot of East Coasters, specifically New York, New Jersey, and Florida, and I am curious about if people from the West come off as more flirty to people from the East.

In my hometown, I was CONSISTENTLY told that I have a resting b\*tch face, brash, and cold. When I went to New Jersey, people were telling me that they knew I wasn’t from around there because I had such a friendly face. I had literally never heard that in my life.

Example 1) A girl from New Jersey also got extremely mad at me because I called her (MUCH younger than me) boyfriend ‘cute’ while talking to the two of them. Which, I understand could definitely be taken that way out of context, but I was 1) being extremely sarcastic and 2) I was talking about the way that he couldn’t handle his alcohol and VOMITED everywhere. The guy said he could tell I was looking at him as a big sister, but the girl said that ‘cute’ is only used when flirting, and then accused me of trying to sleep with her boyfriend. I call damn near anything cute, but I probably wouldn’t use it when I’m flirting.

For context, they’re one of my best friend’s childhood friends. The two of them knew my age, that I don’t live in the US anymore, that I was staying in New Jersey, with my friend and his mom for two days before going back home. And for clarification, I was not trying to sleep with her boyfriend; He’s too young, I don’t hook up with people, I don’t cheat with people, I was staying with my friend and his MOTHER, and even if ALL those weren’t issues, I found him extremely unattractive, which they both also knew lol

Example 2) I was out last night with my New York friends. I am not a touchy person, I treat men and women the same in terms of physical contact. Last night, I didn’t even think I talked very much to them; we laughed about the drunkenness of some of our group members, we talked about the relationship problems of our friends (one of the girls was crying in her boyfriend’s arms so we were discussing how to help), and we discussed our work lives. By the end of the night, dude B (whom I met that night) mentioned that I was flirting with him and very sweet – to which I responded something along the lines of “thanks, but I’m not trying to flirt”. Dude A, just straight accused me of liking him because I flirt with him ‘all the time’.

That night, I did pat Dude A’s knee when he said he was expressing discomfort with how a girl over ten years younger than him wouldn’t stop flirting with him (I was sitting on the couch, he was sitting on top of the couch’s back, otherwise I would have done his back/shoulder, if that matters). I also bought him a Christmas present and offered to make him food when he was sad. However, I bought everyone in our friend group a Christmas present, and also made food multiple other times for a sad friend in our friend group. He knows this because it was all discussed in the group chat.

So I don’t know what I’m doing wrong to make people think I am romantically interested when I just want friends lol. Were they cute? Sure. Were they my type? I dunno, I don’t find them revolting yet lol.I am more talkative with men, I think – but I think that’s more because a lot of my talking points are more popular amongst men (video games, for example, which girls totally play too -obviously-, I just don’t meet many). Also, I’m quite sarcastic, and I’m never quite sure how far I am allowed to take that with women before it becomes offensive, so I am admittedly more sarcastic and tease guys more than I would women, whom I just say nice, supportive things to.

It’s just that these accusations of flirtation are in SHARP contrast to what I heard when I lived in the West, where people constantly said I looked abrasive, mean, and was difficult to get close to. Like, WHAT am I doing wrong?