TLDR: I dont make the effort to keep in contact with people.
I just cant maintain relationships with people a lot of the times. People do their best to keep in touch but they slowly drift away once they realize that the effort is onesided.
I’ve been struggling with this for the past 2 years due to a hard period in my life. I ended up ghosting the whole world from January 2022 – august 2022, but I ended up getting back on my feet from that situation. I received tons of help from some specific people who didnt even question me but I’ve fully cut them off now.
It just seems to be a constant pattern in my life now and Idk what I should do. I still have love for people and there’s 0 animosity but I’m just too invested into my own problems, and I often feel like its too late to see someone or reach out to them after ghosting and ignoring them for so long.
5 comments
“Thinking about you. Hope you’re doing well!”
Send it regardless of timeline if you care about the person. It’s meaningful to recipient, certainly. The recipient, if wanting to keep in touch, will get back to you.
So many of us do this – fail to stay in touch with friends/family – and carry guilt for it.
Dude I’m almost the same fucking way. Same age also. I feel like such a shitty friend most days because it doesn’t really cross my mind to reach out and see what everyone’s got going on. Thankfully all of my friends are pretty understanding about it, but I think that I can feel the distance growing. It’s hard for it not to when you aren’t involved in each others daily lives though. Like you said, it’s nothing but love on my end, but not everyone can operate like that. A lot of people need it clearly expressed. I’m so comfortable not speaking to anyone for days, weeks, or months at a time and then picking up right where we left off. I don’t think any differently of any of my homies if they don’t text or call me regularly.
I really think the only solution is to face the shit head on and make it a priority to be apart of their lives. Show as much gratitude and respect as we possibly can to them for their emotion and time. Friends are 100% by choice and it’s pretty fucking cool that we come across people that want to make us a part of their short precious lives on this planet. I think recognizing that is an important step in the right direction. Makes it feel like less of a chore and more of a blessing
Put it as a reminder in your calendar. Reach out to XY and Z today. However often you can handle talking or getting together. Maybe an invite for drinks once a month or set up a weekly online gaming time?
It happens. If you care about them then reach out every once in a while. I’ll get together with friends that I haven’t talked to for years and it’s still chill but you gotta make decisions as an adult with who you want to involve yourself with.
Check attachment theory, it might have something for you there. ☺️