I’m new at work like in 3 weeks in and I work at an average IT firm
There a few incidents that I felt could have responded better so seeking advice here
1)So at work I got confused about how something works and then I just why isn’t this working this way and my colleague who been there some time replied in this way, “whyyyyyy would it be like that” rolls eyes , “WHAT IS THIS!?!” slams her arm on the table and then points furiously at the screen” so I just replied in a normal tone on what my understanding is but after that I felt I should have call her out on it.
2) I wasn’t sure about on the format of sending the email although sh had shown me before on a powepoint guide as it is the first time I just asked her to show me how to do it the first time and I will do it by myself subsequently. She kept sighing very single steps while showing me , I told her in a sarcastic manner ” why do you keep sighing are you really tired?”
3) part of my job is to monitor a system via an email and i have to ensure i received the email by morning latest early afternoon .At that point I didn’t have access to the system and I still haven’t receive the email for the day. So I just ping her about 11am that like hi I haven’t receive the mail could you please check the system thank you and then she say she will. By 3.30pm I still haven’t receive it and I got worried so I just drop her a ping again and then she sent me a whole chuck of text saying she is haven’t had lunch, been in a meeting since 10am and she say “more important things to do than adding an email !”
4) i check ping her to confirm my understanding on the task and check if the user id is that the one the task is referring to and she was like “did you read?”
TL;DR: how do I handle rude colleague without freezing up whenever they are aggressive.
What should I do and how should I response when a colleague or a manager is shouting at me?
Unfortunately i have some trauma in past from domestic violence so whenever someone is shouting at me I tend to freeze up , chock up and my heart starts to pound.
How can I improve this ?
3 comments
If she isn’t your superior than I would just professionally clap back when she isn’t acting professional. You can do it nicely – something along the lines of “let me level with you, I’m not asking because I want to, I’m new and I need to know how to get xyz done. This would be easier for me if you didn’t abc so we can both get our work done and move on.”
Stuff like this is very situational so I’d use your best judgment.
grey rock method
” why do you keep sighing are you really tired?”
I had a good laugh at this. That is a great and professional clap back.
She sounds like she has had to train a bunch of people who don’t hang around and just leave. She is tired of training people who turn around and leave the company.
Either that or she is burned out and just overall not happy about her job/ employer.