Have kids that I never wanted at this time in relationship, spouse is lousy with them, wanting out in current state

My marriage sucks, i want out if spouse wants to remain stubborn. My spouse says that they don’t love me nor respect me, constantly does opposite of what I’d think a normal individual would do, but listens to everyone else without fail. They have issues outside our relationship as well that seem to spike their emotions into our family.

Most annoying part is they were in control of having kids – or maybe I didn’t take more control which again would’ve been sucky in a marriage (who wears condoms when married?!?). I never wanted kids so soon within marriage; just over a year the first born came, we were long distance before then. Starting from the first born, they’ve acted like they don’t want to parent and still to this day act the same way – immediately **after the second born they talked about how they wanted to work longer shifts.** And if you ask how the second was conceived, some might say it was borderline rape. Its especially more unfortunate since the kids are the same gender as the spouse so I always feel as if they are missing out even more.

Its crazy because all of their friends that are married waited several years before having kids… why’d i get the odd one?!?!

They act like they want more attention from me but I don’t see not getting attention as a reason for being a lousy parent of kids that they were wanting. Ultimately I always want what’s best for the kids.

I think they are just crazy and confused and would gladly sign the papers, but it has to come from them although i doubt they’d ever do the initiation since they don’t know anything about taking the lead and action instead of always complaining. If we were to go to counseling again, I’d probably have to take the lead, which I don’t because again anything I do the spouse doesn’t listen.