21m so pissed at myself right now. Met this 18F through snapchat and it seems she took an interest in me early on as she literally asked me to hang out first before I could ask her.
We talked for 2 weeks but ended up meeting and going out to dinner 2 days ago and it went pretty good. She text me after saying she had a great time and since we’re both into fitness she was saying how we should hit the gym together sometime and that’s what ended up happening tonight, we had a “gym date” together.
It was great up until the last 2 minutes. So I have this weird thing I do in my head where right before I go to see someone I’m getting to know, my mind starts planning a bunch of things to talk to them about but then when I go and see them I end up forgetting to talk about most of it and I’m always pissed at myself afterwards. I don’t go quiet or anything its just I talk about literally everything else except what I wanted to talk to them about.
Anyways today was the last day before she leaves to go on a 2 week vacation tomorrow afternoon, I asked her if she wanted to go to chipotle as we were leaving the gym and she said no since she was tired and wanted to get some sleep before she left which is no problem. But since we were working out we weren’t having full blown conversations so I had some stuff I wanted to talk to her about as we were wrapping up and leaving but my brain went blank.
Here’s where I was really pissed. As we were leaving we had this really good hug where we looked into each other’s eyes, definitely could have kissed but I just didn’t and I wished her a fun trip and as we were walking back to our cars she says “ill see you in 2 weeks” and my dumbass just didn’t say anything. The second I got into the car I felt like such a fucking idiot.
I don’t want her to think I was mad cause she didn’t want to go to chipotle. I ended up texting her after saying sorry if I was quiet at the end I was just beat up from the workout and she said no worries and she was tired as well. I said we should hit the gym when she gets back from vacation and she said for sure and to just give her a day or 2 to recover from the time change.
So did I blow it or am I just overthinking? And it’s not really nerves messing with me because I have dating experience and have kissed before, it’s just my brain goes blank (this is something that happens literally when I go to my barber and im obviously not afraid of him) and I’m really mad at myself as I really like spending time with her and want her to know that.
6 comments
You are way overthinking. My husband of 15 years said some weird ass shit when we first started hanging out. I thought it was cute he was so nervous. Don’t blow a good thing by over analyzing every second of your time with her.
You’re overthinking.
this is some major major overthinking anxiety right here. sorry you’re going through this. it doesn’t have to be this way, but it can take a lot of practice calming your thoughts down. sometimes it requires medication and therapy lol
Don’t overthink. Don’t make the next date the gym again . Do something together that’s a date date
If she didn’t want to go to Chipotle, she’s not into you, did u even kiss her on the first date?. L+ a gym date isn’t a date, its like going shopping with her, it’s what u suggest when u can’t get an actual date as pre date hang, dumb idea to have a gym date as a second sate. Even the two week holiday may be made up
She’s the one who asked you out. You’ve been on two dates, didn’t make a move to kiss her when the opportunity presented, nor did you match her energy in the moment when she said “ill see you in 2 weeks.”
Next time, get out of your head, and into your body. What you’re calling “weird” or unique is something many guys deal with. I have in the past too. But remember this: You felt the energy when you guys came close at the end of the date. So there was no need for any grand gestures or declarations at all. No need for any thinking or analysis. Just lean in and kiss her, dude.
Ideally, there would’ve been a second part of the date, too. The first part would be at the gym and then the second might’ve been post workout smoothies. Rather than worrying about another (unrealistic) Chipotle date in the morning before her flight, you should have instead been focusing on continuing the date THAT NIGHT and leaving a lasting impression.
Anyway, she claims she’s down to hang out when she’s back. It sucks that there’s a 2 week gap here. There are some optimistic replies here and some more pessimistic ones. I’ll come right in the middle. In my experience, there needs to be some solid momentum coming off of those initial dates if you’re going to survive that two week gap. And had you played your cards different, SHE might’ve been the one being proactive with some of this stuff. There will be a temptation to blow up her phone while she’s gone to “prove your interest” but do not do this. Best bet is to keep things light, match her energy, and try to get in a date when she’s back.
And if she’s being cagey after her trip, move on, and keep in mind what I wrote above in the future. Sometimes you only get one (or two) shots and there’s no real substitute for showing authentic interest in the moment.