Being gone down on turns me on so much and is maybe my favourite thing to have done to me but every time anyone tries I freeze up and end up crying or having a panic attack. I’m not exactly sure what has caused this. I think I read some threads as a 15 year old whilst looking for answers about sex where some men said some pretty derogatory things about women and their bodies and I now feel very anxious to be that vulnerable, even in long term relationships. I have got it in my head that oral would be unpleasant for my boyfriend even though I know that is irrational and false. I love going down both men and women but I cant seen to apply that to myself for some reason. I’d just like to find a way of finally moving past the physical anxiety so I can actually relax and enjoy myself.
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work up to it slowly. Find intermediary states, like kissing your thighs or something of that nature to turn you on. Practice and with time it eases up
It’s unfortunate that you were exposed to some negative and derogatory comments in topics, because it does have the potential to create a bias that doesn’t actually exist. As the saying goes, it’s often all in our head. There are people who absolutely love to give oral, just as you do, and there are people who are ambivalent, and then there are people who absolutely hate it. I don’t know if it will help, but there are a lot of sex positive posts on this forum (and others) by people who really love to give oral. The question you asked and the feelings you are experiencing are not uncommon. It often helps to see the other side, but ultimately, the challenge is you have to believe. It does take time.
I think it’s also worth talking about when you are with a partner who you trust. Positive reinforcement from the guy you are with can go a long way towards making you more relaxed. Again, not every guy will be into oral. That’s not personal, and you shouldn’t take it that way. But I think when a guy is into giving oral, he will have no problem telling you how much he loves it, and how he is turned on by it, and you should be able to see that in his reactions. The trust part is the key though. A guy can say it, but again, you have to believe it.
I’m the same way. I’m sorry I don’t have advice, but I’m going through the same thing. My boyfriend literally says he wants to go down on me, 69, etc., but I keep saying I’m not ready. It’s like I have to be freshly showered and conditions have to be perfect (and that’s never the case because he cums in me and uses spit as lube, so the smell and taste aren’t always great I’m sure), or I’m TERRIFIED he’s gonna be disgusted and never want to do it again.
It’s so fucking horrible that women have been conditioned to be so anxious about receiving oral when it’s basically never like that the other way around
>I think I read some threads as a 15 year old whilst looking for answers about sex where some men said some pretty derogatory things about women and their bodies and I now feel very anxious
fuck this shit, that you saw! Men love eating pussy!