I’ve been dating a really sweet and pretty girl for about 3 months now and we’re both really happy with each other. We’ve gone on a couple dates so far and she’s opened up to me quite a bit. She told me how she likes the feeling of pain and the sight of blood. At the time I was very shocked and didn’t really know what to say. I still don’t know how to feel about it either cause she is the nicest and sweetest girl ever. Of course she never wants me to get hurt but she’s constantly making bruises on herself just because she likes the feeling. As a boyfriend I’m worried about her, but I don’t know what to do or even think for that matter. Any thoughts or suggestions?
2 comments
constantly bruising herself seems less kink and more mental illness imo
This sounds more like a cycle of self-harm. I had the same mindset when I used to engage in the same practises. The thrill of self-harm and the sight of her injuries is a coping mechanism for pain on a more emotional level that she is probably ill-equipped to deal with. She would need professional help with a therapist to help redirect her to other, more positive coping strategies.
I did not want to quit at the time. But as I gained new coping skills, it eventually became pointless and I stopped feeling the thrill.
This is something you could support her through if you choose that route – it’s up to you. I’d look into resources on how to support a loved one when they are trying to manage their self-harm. But also remember to support yourself too. Make sure you have boundaries in place so you don’t exhaust yourself.
But if she doesn’t see it as mental-illness-related yet… It’s going to be a hard road.