It’s as simple as the title implies. For context, my girlfriend and I have been together for about 3-4 years now and we have always used protection. There has never been a time where I haven’t used a condom as she is not on the pill and we don’t want to be parents anytime soon. Despite us having safe sex with a condom, she refuses for me to cum inside her. I’ve tried talking to her about it and expressed my desire to cum inside her and try to get her comfortable with the idea of it, but she shuts me down as she’s scared/paranoid about becoming pregnant. I even offered to buy her birth control to ease her mind but she told me even if I did so, she wouldn’t let me. To top it all off, at times when I ask her if it would be possible to cum inside her before sex, she says “I’m not strong enough to stop you if you really did want to, so go ahead.” At this point I don’t even know how to approach this topic with her. I really would like to as it would bring me more sexual satisfaction from doing so. I also think she is being overly cautious/paranoid about getting pregnant and would like her to be more comfortable with me cumming inside her. But I also understand that it’s her body and her right of not wanting so. If anyone has aby feedback or any suggestions on how to handle the situation that would be great.
Tldr: Girlfriend doesn’t want me to cum inside her even though we use condoms and she doesn’t plan on letting me any time soon.
27 comments
She has made her boundaries clear. What’s the outcome if you nut in her? For you, 5 extra seconds of pleasure. For her, weeks of anxiety and stress and possible pregnancy. It’s not worth it to her and that’s fair
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It is her body. She decides. Nutting inside is not worth the hassle imo. Feels good sure, but yeah..
Nut in someone else mate
She is allowed to have her boundaries. You are allowed to break up.
That’s what dating is. Finding out if you are compatible or not. Sometimes you find out on the first date. Sometimes you find out 4 years in. Took me over 20 to figure that out, though the signs were there in the first year
He’s saying that he’s wearing a condom and she STILL will NOT let him have an orgasm with his penis inside her vagina. Basically, wearing a condom and still having to pull out at the last second, or finish himself off I’d imagine. I do not think he’s talking about bareback creampie’ing her just because she’s also on the pill. He means, she won’t even let him cum inside the condom, while inside her.
Anyways my man. Seems like it’s been pretty terrible sex for 3-4 years unless she’s letting you pull out and finish in her mouth. That’s what I would suggest you do. If she doesn’t want you to finish while you are inside her and still wearing a condom, than just stop early, take the condom off, and finish in her mouth. I’d rather cum in a hot, wet, sucking mouth with a tongue than in a vagina EVERY time. But, since you’ve already been together for sooo long, and you haven’t figure out this WONDERFUL alternative to finishing inside a vagina, i’d suspect that your girlfriend is also unwilling to finish you off with her mouth. If that’s the case… I can safely say… after 3-4 years… you should probably end it and find someone who is more compatible sexually.
I think she might have Tokophobia
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830168/#:~:text=Tokophobia%20is%20a%20pathological%20fear,no%20previous%20experience%20of%20pregnancy.
She already said no and you should listen to her. Would you settle for (if she allowed you) her using an internal condom aka a female condom?
No no no, notice how you write! “YOUR” desire to cum inside!!! This is about you not her!!! She’s clearly uncomfortable with it and I cannot imagine why u keep pressuring her. Also, have u ever read the side effects of birth control????? Why would you put her in such physical danger just cuz YOU want to “cum inside her” ??? It’s TWO of you in this thing, why do you inly think about what YOU want and not what SHE wants??? And she’s perfectly reasonable for not wanting you to cum inside her even with a condom – mistakes happen, condoms pop and abortions are quite cruel procedures! Why would you want to put her through such horrors??? Protect her, consider her and be patient!
Maybe one day she’ll ask that u come inside her out of the blue and it will be the most magical thing you’ve ever experienced!! Until then, RESPECT her will!!!!
I definitely had this boundary when I was your age, with maybe one time exception.
It is a couple, it is a matter of two. Maybe you could take her with a doctor to get doubts clear, if she wants to. We have always to be respectuful of our partners. You are both too young so it is perfectly normal to be afraid. Usually getting good information from profesionals could help clear doubts.
But well, it is a matter of two. You use protection, she could use pills or even the intradermic pill, you could try to negotiate at least to visit a doctor?. Make her feel secure, teach her you take care of youe condom, check it in front of her when you remove it for example, or blow it a bit to check it is not broken or with little holes. I did that back in time, and it helped her a lot to feel more safe. But well, respect each other, be happy, take care of your girl
Simple: you respect her and back TF off. She’s told you clearly and for years exactly where her boundaries are. You are not entitled to her body no matter how long you’ve been together or how badly you might want it.
Shes to scared. Its controlling her ability to think logically. She has stated she doesn’t want to. Thats it. Nothing but just talking about it is all you can do. Might need to be strong and move on find someones not scared to have sex.
Her response that you could just physical force her is concerning. I would definitely follow up with what would make her say something like that.
Place yourself in her shoes for a bit:
You cum in her, something happens and she ends up pregnant. She has to make the decision to keep or abort the baby (lot of mental tax). If she keeps it that’s 9 months of WORK because her body is CREATING a human. Even if you guys were to give it up for adoption, she would still have to be pregnant
I get your frustration, but if she were pregnant you would not have to bear any of the physical burden of the decisions and I think that is skewing how you’re thinking about the situation.
It’s ultimately your decision if this is a dealbreaker, but understand that pregnancy is a big deal for a lot of people, especially the ones who would have to carry the baby
I know that pregnancy isn’t a big deal for you because end of the day, you won’t have to live with the consequences. BC has incredibly exhausting and uncomfortable side effects. I’ve been on it since I was 15, and it sucks.
This is one of those things that gets filed under: get over it or break up. Those are your two options for handling it
Dump her so that she can find someone better than you honestly.
That’s a bomb you want to put inside her. The risk of you not nutting inside her? Your nut isn’t as pristine as you want.
HER risk of you nutting inside her? WEEKS of anxiety until she gets her period, and if she doesn’t for any reason then it’s trips to the doctor, and possibly an impossible decision to make regarding her future and body.
You want to put a bomb inside her. She’s said no. Get over it or break up.
See past your fucking cock.
I don’t think she’s being paranoid at all. Even with birth control that’s not 100% affective and god forbid if she fell pregnant and wasn’t able to get an abortion then what??? Also I don’t think you understand how bad birth control side effects like one of the side affects is that she could literally have a stroke. She’s not being paranoid not wanting to risk a stroke is very valid reason. Some women have literally lost their vision bc of birth control so it’s kinda insensitive to ask her to get on it when her body is the only one that’d be affected by taking it. Overall just respect your gfs boundaries and don’t push her.
Where do you cum then?
Bro I get the whole sexual satisfaction thing but that shit makes babies. Things can happen even if you think it won’t. Source is I got two kids out the deal.
My (60M) solution to a very similar issue was abstaining. After our son was born 31.5 years ago, she didn’t go back on the bc pill. I wouldn’t use a condom. There was no more sex for the next 30 years. What do you think of our solution? In hind sight, I don’t necessarily recommend it. Tell her she definitely wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant though…
No means no, dude. All forms of birth control carry a risk (some slight, some major) of pregnancy. If she said no, then she’s not willing to roll the dice. You can accept that or move on from the relationship.
Edit: I notice you will put on a condom, but place the rest of the BC responsibility on her (paying for it doesn’t mean you assume the biological risk of birth control pills). You could also consider a vasectomy, which is reversible when you decide that you want to become parents. If that’s not on the table, then you’re really being one-sided.
I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend for 4 years and I have never once let him cum inside me. We always use a condom and a pill. We both decided he’s not cumming inside until I’m sterilized and he’s fully respected that the entire time we’ve been together, so I don’t really understand why you can’t respect your own girlfriend.
What on earth did you mean when you said you asked her if you can cum inside her BEFORE sex? Huh??
she has her boundaries. you have only two choices: accept it or get out of the relationship.
omfg grow up and stop watching porn. we don’t need to let men cum in us just for your satisfaction. unless you are ready to take care of a baby or can afford plan b, an abortion, or a child and have the consent of a woman, then yeah go for it. stop crying over cumming.
im so confused…. youre wearing a condom but you still pull out? or did i misunderstand?