For those who have or have had a good relationship, what was the timing of comfort level with intimacy? Whether that means touching, kissing, sex, admission of random secrets… just curious if moving fast ever felt natural, or if it was a slow burn.

10 comments

  1. I ask because I’ve usually gone pretty fast off the bat if the chemistry is there, or even just the casual hookup etc. However I had a first date this weekend where the chemistry was quickly established and things feel a bit different. I held off on sex because I’m trying not to rush into anything if there’s potential for a relationship.

  2. I’ve had relationships after having sex on the first date and ones where we waited a month or so to get intimate. Everybody is different and it matters what you and the other person agree on for expectations.

    Personally I’d prefer to know early if someone is going to be deeply incompatible with me and how I prefer to handle sex.

  3. If there’s no kiss on the first date, there probably never will be.

    Sex could happen as early as date 3, possibly date 4 to 6 is more likely in my experience, but there’s making out along the way. Depends on the individual situation.

  4. I’ve had both relationships where things moved really fast and once where things moved slower. Right now my relationship is with someone I met almost 4 months ago, we kissed on the first date, had sex on the second, got exclusive a couple of weeks after that, and told each other we loved each other around Christmas.

  5. It takes me awhile to have sex with someone new. Maybe around after a month or so till I get to really know them and understand them as a person.

  6. I started dating during Covid, so I feel like that impacted kissing on first dates. Candidly, I was content with it since it was less pressure for me. I was asked by multiple guys if they could hug me on the first date which I thought was cute. Usually date 2-3 was when a kiss would happen.

    My current boyfriend didn’t kiss me until date 5 which felt like a long time, but he was super nervous. We had sex on date 7 or 8 I think? But we are a little bit of a slow burn relationship (didn’t have our first overnight until 6 months) which works for us!

    I got divorced in 2021. It was pretty toxic so I’m rediscovering what love is and means to me so not rushing is key for us. However, I’ve also had relationships that moved faster that were really healthy as well. It just depends. I don’t think there is a right or wrong, just what feels right for both of you.

  7. I (34f) have been dating bf (35m) for 9 months. First kiss (make out session initiated by me) on date two. Sex after exclusivity was established on date 10 a little over a month in. I love you we’re said about 5/6 months in.

  8. I can have sex without being truly intimate with someone.
    That’s mainly in the beginning stages when I feel like exploring and having some fun.
    Intimacy, looking each other deep in the eyes, knowing how to move around then, when to Kiss them, when to embrace them and enjoying their presence without judgement….that takes long for me. I would say at least 5-6 months after dating somebody exclusively. It just takes me extra long to fully share myself and I give out but by bit until I can allow myself to fall and trust.
    That’s when I usually fall in love too. I had that feeling twice in my life.

  9. I don’t overthink it. Honestly my best relationships have had physical intimacy very early on.

  10. Its like putting salt or pepper on food- its better to add a little at a time but you can never take it back once you put too much.

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