I am 32F and on weekends I don’t usually have a bunch of social events lined up or I just stay in and relax from my high stress job, but I’m open to going out. I also have only a handful of die hard friends who I’m very close with but they live far. I’ve been trying to expand my social circle in my area but I’ve found that I dont know how to respond to this phrase appropriately when asked because I feel like if I respond with “errands” or “relaxing” most weekends I’ll be stigmatized for being boring or having no friends, but also the people that ask me this i feel are looking to merely hitchhike onto a pre-existing social itinerary, which I don’t have. Im otherwise pretty social and open to making plans but I don’t know why this phrase annoys me so much as I feel like it’s phishing and invasive at times. I’d appreciate suggestions on how to respond in a generic fashion. Thank you 🙂

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  1. Flow chart – ask yourself “does it seem like they want to make plans? And “do I want to hang out with those person?” If both yes, suggest making plans in a vague way ie “no special plans here yet, we should get together” it then feels natural for them to make a suggestion for something to do if they are open to it. If both answers are no, it’s probably just be polite small talk, and I just answer honestly without getting into to much detail. If they seem like they want plans but I don’t want to hang with them, I like to respond with mundane house hold upkeep shit “gotta sort some time out to reorganize the basement this weekend”. If they don’t seem like they want to market plans but they’re someone you’d like to get to know better, I haven’t figured out what to do there yet

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