My boyfriend and I live together. Sometimes when I come home he has left the lube and/or fleshlight (clean) out on the bed because he masturbated while I was away. I don’t have a problem with masturbation (he says it makes him more horny which I like), but it seems like he should at least put away his things after he is done.
I am having a hard time figuring out why this bothers me and would like advice on how you would feel and if it’s reasonable to expect the ‘evidence’ to be put away when done.
TLDR: See title.
11 comments
It bothers you because it’s rude.
Have you talked to him about this?
Just ask him to put it away.
It doesn’t and shouldn’t be a big thing. Just ask him to put it away. You don’t particularly want to see it when you need to change anymore than you’d want to see his browser history while looking for a receipt or email.
“Put it away because I’d appreciate you putting it away and in this case, I’d really hope that is a good enough reason to spend a few seconds communicating you give a damn.”
Many guys are messy. When I lived alone, I cleaned up as needed (when it starts getting too messy) or for guests, but I did not clean up every day. When I lived with roommates, I clean up my mess in the living room, kitchen, etc., but my room is my place of comfort, cleaned as needed (or if there was a potential for someone to be in my room), but not every day.
Now that I live with my wife, what am I supposed to do, live every day as if guests are coming over? I know the every day cleaners will say yes, but I’m not an every day cleaner.
Masturbation is a sort of stress release. We do it to relax. It’s no longer relaxing if we have to stress about hiding it from the person who’s there everyday.
Weird. I wonder why he goes to the trouble of washing if but not putting it away.
Do you think he likes letting you know he jerked off? Is it exciting for him?
They are hard to dry out he probably doesn’t want to put it away wet🤷♀️ maybe if you see it try to flip it to a positive. Oh it looks like you’ve already had your fun I guess tonight you will spend the next hour pleasing me and I can lay back and relax. Repeat as often as his toys are left out. It’s a power flip. And it may or may not work for you guys
Have you talked to him about it? The wife and I both leave our shit all over the house and don’t care about those kinds of things. At the same time though if she felt differently and asked me to be more secretive about it I’d have absolutely no problem with it.
ya know im not gonna lie i used to think i was okay with my partner until i watched porn with them. it gets personal.
>I am having a hard time figuring out why this bothers me
Because people somehow believe that sex toys are their competition. I get annoyed when I see the lube out, especially when sex is so fleeting
If the flesh light is drying, then that’s normal. Are you anal about other clean things needing to be put away?
I think its because you know he spent the afternoon fantasizing about banging a bunch 19 year old models lol and searching for pics and videos of other girls who probably dont look like you. So you just walk in like oh hey. Not saying its not normal but also normal to not want to be reminded of it.
“Hey, could you please put away your masturbation stuff when you finish with it? I don’t mind you masturbating of course, I just don’t like to see the hear around. Thanks!”
Done. The larger question is why you feel more comfortable asking reddit about this than making a quick comment to your partner.