I’ve been at this company for 5 months, and I was hired right out of college.
I met this one employee named “Tami” when I was 3 months into my role. I worked with her on a number of internal initiatives during a 3-5 month period, and I mostly did well as the work she initially assigned played to my strengths.
It felt like Tami and I had a good working relationship. It appeared that she felt that I was mostly doing well and contributing value.
However, in late December (~5 months into my role) she asked me to create 2 slides.
We had periodic check-ins, and there was this one slide I did poorly. I was trying to fit a content to the layout of the slide, and I lost sight of what the point of the slide should have been.
When she gave me that feedback (i.e. the content doesn’t fit the slide) she seemed frustrated, and it was the first time she had ever been angry with me.
I fixed that slide and made sure the other slide didn’t have the same problem. After I made the edits, she said that “in general, the two slides [were] good first passes.”
I scheduled a meeting with her 2 days later to talk about overall feedback she had for me, and she said that I was good at research and it was great I was willing to try new things.
However, she said that I was not pitching myself enough to higher-level employees, that I had to take more ownership of my career and work, and that I should ask entry-level employees more questions as opposed to people of her level.
She said that if I wanted to be placed on billable work, I needed to get better at that slide skill and that the company we work at was very competitive because everyone is so talented and accomplished. When she gave me that feedback, she sounded blunt but not as angry as when she saw the slide.
She said that “she generally enjoyed working with me” which is why she’s included me on calls and initiatives.
Later that week, I sent her a “Happy Holidays message” and included specific tidbits about how she had contributed to my development, and she never replied to it.
She isn’t my manager or boss or anything; I work with tons of different people, but I was just wondering if I’ve blown my working relationship with her.
Any thoughts on what I should do moving forward?
The week after that week was our company’s winter break, during which I spent $295 on 2 PowerPoint classes which taught me why what I did with Tami’s slides was wrong.
I now feel confident that I’d never make the same mistake again.
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**tl;dr**: I made a mistake on a slide and the higher-level employee got angry. I feel like our relationship is more chilly now.
3 comments
I think you’re reading too much into this. She gave you her thoughts on the slide: it doesn’t sound like she was mean; it just sounds like blunt feedback. And she said the slides were a good first pass.
Then you asked for general feedback, and she gave you direct feedback. This is after the slide incident; if she didn’t care about you or your development, she wouldn’t have taken the time or energy to give you honest feedback.
The holiday message could’ve been an oversight, especially if she was out.
The relationship may be a little chillier if she now thinks you’re not quite as good at skills she thought you had, but that doesn’t mean you’ve “blown” the relationship. Reflect on her feedback, decide what you’re going to work on, and then demonstrate (through action) that you’re committed to working on those things.
It seems she sees you as a fellow worker – not a friend, acquaintance, or whatever. That’s her boundary and she’s entitled to have that. I don’t think she’s mad at you, i think she just wants to do her job.
You say she’s not your boss or manager…but are scheduling one on ones with her so she can provide you feedback?? I don’t get it, why are you doing that? That’s a conversation and setting for your manager, not your peers.
Equally though, she could have been frustrated about something else, and had to speak to you about the slide shortly after and the frustration boiled over. Or she could have been frustrated because she’s not your manager and shouldn’t need to correct your work. Or it could have been a really bad day. Or she could have started her Christmas leave early and not have seen it. Or she could have swiped the notification off her phone and missed it. Who knows.
Either way, I’d suggest you step back, and attempt to focus on being her peer, and focusing on your work, rather than whatever is happening here. Because this is a lot of fear and overcorrection over such a small set of encounters, and you’re frankly trying too hard to fix something that doesn’t even sound broken.
You’re young, and not far into your career at all. But you’re going to learn in time that it’s impossible to get along with all of your coworkers. I’ve got about 10 in my current company who I actively dislike, and 3 who I know dislike me. But I’d never treat them with anything less than respect, and I’ve never been treated by any who don’t like me with anything less than respect. But if any of them chased me for whatever is happening here the way you are Tami, I’d be getting pissed, and I’d ignore messages too.
End of the day, it’s okay if she doesn’t like you, on a personal *or* professional level. She doesn’t have to. But as long as she treats you with respect, which she is in every example you’ve given, then there’s no problem. Your working relationship sounds fine.