I (35F) made friends about one year ago with another female coworker (42F) while at work. We worked in the same Industry at the time and she was very friendly. After struggling with keeping good friends around ( I let some go because I felt they were narcissistic, never around, grew apart), we bonded quickly due to shared childhood experience growing up, interests, etc. And even though it’s only been a year, we hang out on holidays and were even planning on doing something together for our birthdays since we share the exact same birthday.
She has mentioned to me she was spiritual but I didn’t mind that because she seemed to be quite open-minded. She did ask me in the past about whether I was vaccinated and I said I was, and she admitted she wasn’t. I didn’t press much into it because I don’t care and I have some other acquaintances who are unvaccinated.
About six months I started getting some unusual symptoms dealing with my skin. It took me awhile to see a specialist but finally got to see one last month. I went and the doctor told me he was going to do a biopsy to make sure I didn’t have some super rare skin cancer and I would get the results in about 8 weeks ( which will be happening soon ).
I was relaying this info to her along with some other news from the past week, and suddenly she starts going into some rant about not needing the vaccine, etc. I informed her I didn’t care what she thought because I’ve researched everything and trust my doctors for that. She complained that doctors are corrupt and they can’t be trusted ( to an extent I do believe this lol). And she was basically saying/implying that because I took the vaccine now I am getting tested for cancer. I got super upset at that remark but remained composed and explained that just because I confided in her, doesn’t mean she knows me, or my medical history. And that there was no connection between the vaccine and my diagnosis ( at that point I had only vaguely told her about my biopsy). She wouldn’t back down and it made me very uncomfortable because it was an hour long argument between us where she kept trying to convince me that she was right.
Apparently, I had judged her majorly wrong and she isn’t some spiritual new-age lefty. She’s really a conspiracy theorist who’s partly anti-vaxxer, partly ‘spiritual’ lol. All of her conspiracies came out that night. And while it was super shocking, it was also eye opening since she so strongly believes in them (but had no facts to back it up).
I argued back because in the spirit of the argument, I felt it necessary to slap down any stupid misinformation which is why I didn’t hang up sooner. I also questioned her on whether she was trustworthy to not disclose my medical information to anyone else ( I can just see her saying I once knew a girl who had cancer because she got the cover booster, blah blah blah).
The phone convo ended tense and she said she was going to follow up by sending me some ‘information’, aka propaganda to see for myself. I just said sure, whatever and haven’t spoken to her since. I was hoping that maybe she would just drop trying to contact me but recently she’s been following up and trying to speak to me.
Mind you, she still hasn’t apologized, shown any remorse for my own stressful time period, and is still trying to push her quack narrative.
I don’t want to speak to her ever again because I don’t trust her and she’s proven it namely by using my health scare against me to fit her own narrative. And I don’t want to be around an anti-vaxxer who sucks up my energy while being a hypocrite who espouses ‘spirituality’ and ‘thinking positively’ when she clearly doesn’t do that. She also has some clear boundaries and doesn’t listen or take no for an answer.
Where I think I might the AH is that I don’t even want to message her back. I wrote out some message explaining why I think it’s best to cut off contact with her and that she violated my trust, but then didn’t send it. I don’t feel like I owe her a goodbye or a followup explanation but perhaps, there’s nothing wrong to send one final one. I just don’t want to create a dialogue with someone so clearly unstable. But she was a good friend until she wasn’t.
Is my ex-friend really that bad that I shouldn’t send her a goodbye text?
TLDR: I stopped talking to a close friend who I found out was making me uncomfortable about her ranting against vaccines. She essentially claimed I got sick from it. I don’t want to ever talk to her again.