I have been talking to this guy for around 3 and a half months, texting on an almost daily basis for the past month and a half. We’ve become very good friends, I’m very interested in him but I’m not sure how he feels about me.
Over the weekend, another car crashed into his car causing it to flip over and hit a man standing on the street, that man passed away.
I know this situation is very traumatic and he is an individual that I care deeply about. I want to be there for him, but I’m not sure how to. I don’t want to overwhelm him, but I don’t want to become distant either.
For those who have gone through similar situations, how would you recommend going about and supporting him?
tl;dr A guy I very much care about got into a car accident and accidentally killed someone, what can I do to support him?
4 comments
Just tell him you’re there if he needs anything. You don’t need to do any grand gestures or check on him daily necessarily. One little gentle “I’m so sorry, let me know if I can help in any way” is enough.
I would see if he wants to have a lowkey hangout at one of your homes. Sometimes just spending time with somebody you care about is enough. It creates space for him to talk if he wants to, or you two can focus on something else like a movie or game or something.
That’s very likely to be a traumatic event for him. You can let him know you’re sorry to hear what happened, and you can offer an amount of social or emotional support that you’re willing and able to provide, but it’s ultimately up to him how he proceeds from here.
Follow his lead. Be willing to listen to him if he wants to talk about it, but don’t push him to. Some people will want to talk through trauma and some people will want to be distracted and not have to dwell on it. Plus, who he wants to talk through it with is hard to know, so even if he wants to talk through it, he may or may not want to do that with you. So, you just let him show you what sort of support he wants.