I’m 25 and only have one close friend. I have no idea how to find my “circle”. Looking to hear from those who have been in a similar position.

I 25F feel like an outsider. I have regressed socially throughout my life – I was an extremely outgoing kid, and always had lots of friends. When I got to high school, my large group from junior high all split in different directions, and I ended up alone (clearly this was due to my own anxieties, I could have befriended other people if I tried but instead I froze). I spent the rest of high school going to the library during lunch period. When I got to college I made a group of friends and we all decided to live together sophomore year – bad idea lol, we all pretty much hated each other by the end. Luckily I did stay friends with one of them, and we’re now close friends. So I am completely grateful for that.

But now it’s three years after college and I haven’t made a new friend. COVID hit when I graduated (not using this as an excuse for myself, but just adding since it didn’t help lol I ended up working remote). I’m really doing well – I have a job that pays well, a cat, a nice apartment, and get to do whatever I want in my free time. But I really wish I had more people to spend my free time with – I so badly miss having lots of social plans. I like parties, I like people, I like to have a good time. But I’m so fucking bad at taking initiative and approaching places by myself. I do have my one friend, and we hang out about once a week or every other week. But the rest of the time is for me to try and make friends, and I can’t bring myself to do anything other than go to the gym, run errands and go on walks. The thought of doing anything else makes me so damn anxious. I’m so bad at forcing myself to do something out of my comfort zone.

I miss having friends and constant plans, life is so fun when it’s like that. But social anxiety and my lack of willpower to fight it really suck. I’m in therapy, so I’m not asking how to get over this – I just came here for some words of encouragement, and wanted to know if anyone’s been through something similar yet ended up finding their friends. Tbh I just need some hope right now that it can happen for me, feeling down tonight.