Some examples:
* I told two friends it would be nice to turn my basement into a gym. They responded that it wouldn’t be a good idea and advocated for a workshop instant.
* I told my parents I’d like to grow my hair out. They responded with a bunch of opinions where they expressed disapproval
* I told a friend I’d like to take a vacation. They responded with saying the trip would be costly and asking “are you sure?” without any approving comments
* I mentioned to several people it would be nice to get an Ebike and ride around town. Cut to them giving plenty of reasons it would be bad and discouraged me from doing it.
Seriously, I want to “love” and “trust” myself but when so many people always seem to put me down, it really becomes hard to trust myself deep down. I feel like there’s no way they would all be saying this if they weren’t right and I need to listen to them to be normal and conforming.
3 comments
Yeah, you kinda just gotta do what you want to do. If you need someone to give you green light on your ideas, it’s never gonna work out. People are fearful and cautious, and they don’t want to take responsibility for anything going wrong with new things/changes you want to do.
The other issue is, most people advise from their perspective and their situation. Like with gym in the basement or vacation. THEY wouldn’t do, so they don’t think you should either. They don’t know the whole scope of your reasons and motivations.
What are your typical interactions with these people like? Do you usually go to them for advice? Do you usually try to get people to help you change your mind? They might be assuming you want them to do that.
If you go to these people often with this kind of energy, that’s how they’re going to show up for you because they think that’s what you’re looking for. Next time you feel adamant about something, go to them and tell them “this IS what I’m doing” and see if their response doesn’t change.
Well test it for several decision :
– Take decision without telling anybody
– See the results
– Adjust what you are doing to obtain the result you want
After several decisions and several Time you handled the situation, you should be more confident on you choice and asking less to ppl what you are supposed to do