I’ve never been okay asking for help or gifts because it makes me feel bad spending other people’s money but lately I’ve really been wanting gift’s from my bf and it feels weird. This is the first Christmas that I have ever been with someone and they have gotten me a gift – getting my Christmas gifts for and from my boyfriend this past year made me feel so loved and so happy because I’ve never experienced it.

He doesn’t have any issue with buying me things but I never let him and I never ask. I’ve really been wanting a few things that I want my boyfriend to buy for me. Should I ask him or should I feel bad for asking? Is it okay to ask your partner for gifts? I never want him to think I care about his money.

11 comments
  1. Because people fee loves by many different ways. Many women enjoy gifts from loved ones. Likely because it shows thought and such. Many men enjoy physically touch. But do it both ways. My birthday always comes first in the year so I always have time to always up shine my wife

  2. Gifts are a “love language” and if it’s my gf, it’s okay, I’ll totally buy her whatever she wants. but if you’re asking for over the top expensive things constantly and then wanting to go out on expensive dates all the time… well I’d expect you to return the favors in one way or another. My love language is acts of service

  3. Buy him something nice and then give him a hint that you really like that thing and you are considering buying it in the near future, not immediately after gifting him, of course. We are dumb but if we listen carefully, we may catch a hint every once in a while.

  4. I would be so put off if an SO asked me to buy a gift for him and I would never do the same either…

    I think gifts should be a surprise, your bf isn’t your personal shopper who goes around buying things for you. If you want something, you should be able to buy it yourself.

    That being said, I had an ex and gift giving was one of his love languages and I had a wish list on Amazon of things I liked and he would often buy me things on that list.

  5. I love giving small surprise gifts as part of a friendship or relationship, but I wouldn’t want to be asked for *specific* items outside of common gift-exchange occasions. Unless you couldn’t buy it yourself (e.g. he’s an artist and you want him to paint your portrait), that feels pretty close to just asking for straight money, which for me needs some sort of social ritual around it to feel good. In your shoes, I’d ask him to get you what you want for Valentine’s.

  6. If you have an issue with asking him to buy you things, but are not opposed to him actually buying you things, then mention the things you like and why you like them. I would hope you wouldn’t do it expecting him to buy you things, but it will say least put that item in his mind as someone you would enjoy. Come gift giving time, he might buy you what you wanted.

  7. Passingly saying you want something is one thing. Asking him to buy it for you is another.

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